THE TEMPLE: Life and Death with Peter Gordon

by Whatsblem the Pro

The Temple of Transition, Burning Man 2011 -- Photo by Peter Gordon

The Temple of Transition, Burning Man 2011 — Photo by Peter Gordon

Peter Gordon is an award-winning photographer based in Ireland, where he’s been working full-time as an art photographer for the last seven years. Gordon studied history and politics, but said goodbye to all that so that he could indulge the avid interest in photography he acquired from working with his father, photographer Ed Gordon. “I got hooked,” says Peter, “and there was no turning back.”

Inside the Temple -- Photo: Peter Gordon

Inside the Temple — Photo: Peter Gordon

Gordon has not just won awards for his Burning Man images, he has won the most prestigious photography awards in Europe for them, including European Photographer of the Year, and a European Reportage Golden Camera from the Federation of European Photographers. In 2013, Peter Gordon was named Irish Professional Photographer of the Year, Landscape Photographer of the Year, and Pictorial and Travel Photographer of the Year by the Irish Professional Photographers Association, while his work took Best Single Image in both the Landscape, and the Travel and Pictorial categories.

Peter Gordon’s latest project focuses on the Temple of Transition at Burning Man 2011, which has been widely regarded as the best Burning Man Temple to date. Mr. Gordon kindly agreed to tell me all about it.

Whatsblem the Pro: Peter, I understand you’ve got a book project in the works. Can you tell me about it, please?

Peter Gordon: That’s right. ‘Life and Death – The Temple‘ will be an exhibition and book of fine art photography of the Temple of Transition. It’s not just about the Temple of Transition as a structure; it’s about the Temple experience. It’s about capturing the essence of a poignant spiritual experience in the incredibly beautiful surroundings of the Black Rock Desert. The imagery shows that we’re all human beings; we all celebrate life, we all mourn death. We do it in different ways, but the project is saying: Look, here’s a way that people are dealing with very deep problems: loss and separation, death, and celebrating the most important elements of their lives as well, like marriage. And WOW is it working for them! When the project is released fully in late September, you will see these themes of Life and Death in people’s expressions and experiences at the Temple, in the building itself, and of course on the canvas of the Temple walls.

Photo: Peter Gordon

Photo: Peter Gordon

Whatsblem the Pro: Is this a solo project, or are there other people involved?

Peter Gordon: The IAM crew, especially James Diarmaid Horkan – aka ‘Irish’ — are the only other people directly involved with the project. They built the Temple that I’m telling the story through. I was an IAM crew member on the Temple build, so we’re bound together by friendship, common experience, and a set of (hopefully) iconic images.

Whatsblem the Pro: How did you find out about Burning Man?

Peter Gordon: In 2011 I was part of the fundraising drive to build the Temple of Transition. ‘Irish’ is an old friend of mine from the motherland here in Ireland, and when the IAM crew got the go-ahead to build the 2011 Temple, Irish asked me to get involved. I jumped at the chance to get back to the desert!

The idea was to give crowdfunding supporters of the Temple a chance to own a limited-edition fine art print of a photograph of the structure. The reward seemed to go down well with donators, so I got myself on a plane across the Atlantic from Ireland and hit Burning Man.

Whatsblem the Pro: What do you hope to achieve with ‘Life and Death – the Temple?’

Peter Gordon: Initially, my goal was simply to fulfill the fine art print reward through a series of drop-dead beautiful images of the Temple. As I spent more time at the Temple, the project began to evolve in my mind. I could see the real – and very positive – impact the Temple experience was having on the people taking part, and I was struck by the very serious process that so many people were going through. I had never seen the Temple story told fully through a documentary photography project, and just felt compelled to tell it. The process involved a fair amount of deep sadness, but also incredible joy and ultimately catharsis.

Photo: Peter Gordon

Photo: Peter Gordon

Whatsblem the Pro: I know what you mean. I’m not a person who cries easily or often, but the Temple of Transition at dawn, and all the things people had written on those walls, had me weeping openly.
What kind of support are you looking for to bring this project home?

Peter Gordon: I’m trying to get people involved with the project through the Kickstarter campaign, which I’m hoping will raise enough money to print a 112-page coffee table book, and pay for design services and a launch space in Dublin. I’m planning to bring the project to the US as well, so I’m actively seeking spaces where that can happen.

Whatsblem the Pro: Where can we get more information?

Peter Gordon: If people want a bit more info about the project and me, they should check out my website or my Facebook page.

Whatsblem the Pro: How can we donate or otherwise get involved?

Peter Gordon: People can get involved through my Kickstarter campaignWe have some really cool swag on offer as rewards, including Temple screen savers, the coffee table book, and fine art prints.

Whatsblem the Pro: Thanks, Peter, and good luck. I’m looking forward to showing that book off on my own coffee table!

Peter Gordon: Thank you.

 

A Matter of Control

by Whatsblem the Pro

The International Arts Megacrew is a crew of builders that has earned a massive amount of respect from the citizens of Black Rock City, in particular with the success of their very ambitious and brilliantly executed Temple of Transition in 2011.

The IAM has announced their project for 2013, a mysterious structure called THE CONTROL TOWER. I met with Irish, one of the group’s leaders, to find out more.

Whatsblem the Pro: Welcome back to the States! Tell me about the IAM.

Irish: Thanks. IAM is a loose collective of people from over twenty countries, of which the core group is based in Reno. The crew initially grew from a group that knew each other from working together at the Black Rock International Burner Hostel (BRIBH) camp from around 2005 onwards, particularly members of the leadership team: Kiwi, a master carpenter and general contractor from New Zealand, myself, an artist from Dublin, and Beave, a notorious international man of mystery from England. IAM has since expanded to include many other people, including our architect Ken Rose and a wide diversity of crew from Reno and further afield.

The BRIBH was a camp that sought to provide burners from overseas a means to integrate faster at Burning Man by providing a surrounding community and a shared project – camp construction – for them to get involved in, even in their first year at Black Rock City. Attending Burning Man from overseas is a daunting task, both psychologically and logistically, and the role of the Burner Hostel was to make the journey easier, allowing international participants to spend more energy on really getting stuck into Burning Man while knowing they had a sweet home base to return to whenever they needed. . . and this philosophy of providing accessible experience to international burners continues in our art projects today.

IAM crew distribution -- Image: Josh Simmons/IAM media team

IAM crew distribution — Image: Josh Simmons/IAM media team

The first big project we did, Megatropolis, grew from a whiskey-sippin’ conversation at Kiwiburn 2010 between Kiwi and Otto Von Danger, there at the time to build his Cow with Gun project. Too late to apply for a grant that year, we hustled, begged and borrowed to raise the funds required and drove to the playa on fumes, where, over the course of twelve hotdog-eating days, twenty-five of us managed to pull off a pretty big and popular project. Black Rock FX came in at the end to help us with an epic, pyrotechnics-intensive burn.

Our crew that year included people from New Zealand, Ireland, the UK, Australia, the USA, Hong Kong, Canada and Germany.

Megatropolis went so well that at some point during cleanup, Kiwi jumped to the next logical conclusion: building a Temple.

Megatropolis burning -- Photo: Chris 'Kiwi' Hankins

Megatropolis burning — Photo: Chris ‘Kiwi’ Hankins

This was a very different project – much bigger, far more complex – and being the Temple, required a lot more sensitivity and thought. With a crew that topped out at just under 400 volunteers from over twenty countries at Hobson Square, an awesome warehouse complex on 4th Street in Reno, we spent an extremely intense four months pre-building, then had an even more intense time with the on-playa build. . . so intense that we needed a year off to recuperate in 2012.

The Temple of Transition appeared to be well-liked by the community; afterwards we heard estimates that there were around 45,000 people at the Temple burn, which hopefully means it was a special place for a lot of people and that it performed its intended function effectively. The Temple is a well-understood, well-developed concept that had been explored and clarified over the preceding decade by David Best and other Temple architects and crews, and we tried our best to create and honor that same experience and feeling on our watch.

The IAM's Temple of Transition, Burning Man 2011 -- Photo: Scott London

The IAM’s Temple of Transition, Burning Man 2011 — Photo: Scott London

Whatsblem the Pro: Well done, it was a great Temple.
What is the Control Tower? What does it signify artistically, and what do you hope to achieve with it?

Irish: Where the Temple was serious, the Control Tower is designed to be fun, both for participants to interact with and for us to build!

Sensible grown-ups that we are, we realized that the theme is likely to inspire all manner of bizarre air and space craft, no doubt operated by a babbling smorgasbord of unlicensed, cantankerous, and demented pilots, all buzzing around Spaceport BRC in the most uncontrolled, abstract, and fundamentally irresponsible manner. Very dangerous! Very haphazard! So we figured we’d step up to do our civic duty and provide some modicum of air traffic control, provide landing clearances, define flight paths and so on. . . all of which can only realistically be achieved from sixty feet above the playa, high atop a flaming, laser-shooting Control Tower.

Aside from selflessly providing this vital public service, of course, we wanted to focus on two key principles this year: interactivity and collaboration. So every system on the tower – flames, lasers, lighting, sound – will all be interactive via a number of secret game-like methods which will have to be discovered upon visiting the installation. Many of these systems will be built by a rapidly expanding list of awesome collaborators including UV99, Mischief Lab, BambooDNA, Audiopixel, the Media Architecture Institute, Ideate, Play)a(skool, several 2012 CORE crews, and even some peaceful, softly glowing visitors from the Fractal Planet, so the project is shaping up to be a collaboration of epic proportions. We strongly believe that collaborations yield the best Burning Man projects, so we’re really excited about where the Control Tower project is going to end up by the time we actually get to playa!

The Control Tower. Not pictured: your mind exploding -- Image: IAM

The Control Tower. Not pictured: your mind exploding — Image: IAM

Whatsblem the Pro: What is the Org’s involvement in the project? Does it meet your expectations?

Irish: Sadly, we did not get a grant from Burning Man this year, which makes our lives a little more difficult. It’s hard to know exactly why they chose not to support a project that delivers so much interaction, collaboration, visual impact, and fire in a theme-appropriate way. The community as a whole clearly likes the idea very much, as shown by the massive wave of support we’ve experienced in just three short weeks since we launched on Facebook, and since we like those people so much, we HAVE to move ahead, grant or no grant! We built Megatropolis without a grant, so we know it can be done, especially with so much support gathering around the project already.

It’s also important to note that Burning Man supports its artists in more ways than just via grants, and this non-monetary support can be just as – if not more – critical to making a project happen successfully. Now that we have been given a very clear mandate by the community itself to build their Control Tower, it will be interesting to see how the Burning Man Org supports the project as it evolves. The fact of the matter is that we love building awesome projects at Black Rock City, and Burning Man loves awesome projects too, so I’m very hopeful they will work with us closely to ensure the whole community gets to enjoy the full, ridiculous magnificence of the Control Tower.

Whatsblem the Pro: What’s the plan for actually getting it built, and when and where will everything happen?

Irish: Well, we hope to start building in early May at the Generator, a new art space in Sparks, NV. Matt Schultz of the Pier project has very generously offered us space there, and we’re hoping the space will be quite the hive of Burn-related activity for the summer. We’re way into the family vibe that comes from working side-by-side with other projects, and it allows us to share our experience and infrastructure with smaller or less experienced crews. Our actual start date – indeed whether we start at all – will depend a great deal on how fundraising goes over the coming four to six weeks.

Whatsblem the Pro: What does the project need in order to succeed?

Irish: Like any other project, we need to assemble a mixture of four key resources to make the whole thing come to life: materials, funding, people, and clever ideas. We think it’s important to list materials ahead of funding because in the end, funds get used to buy materials anyway, and we really try to find free/cheap/donated material, equipment, and tools rather than spending on new stuff. However, even being super-proactive about using second-hand gear, we still think we need to raise just under $50,000, and we’re going to try to raise at least half of that on Indiegogo.

Equally, if we can come up with clever ways to avoid spending money by finding unexpected solutions to technical or organizational challenges, this helps reduce the fundraising load too, and that’s where the whole community comes in; we are always open to volunteers and new ideas. Across a community as big as Burning Man, we know there are people who have already developed a lot of the solutions we need to make this project go, and we’d love to hear from anyone who wants to get involved!

Whatsblem the Pro: How do people contact you to get involved, and how do they donate?

Irish: The easiest and fastest way to support the project is via our Indiegogo campaign.

We are fiscally sponsored by Fractured Atlas, an umbrella 501(c)(3) that provides tax-deductible status to qualifying art projects. This means donations of money, materials or equipment to the project are all fully deductible to the extent permitted by law. A list of materials and equipment we need is available here, and we can pick stuff up in both Reno and the Bay Area. We will work with donors to determine a fair valuation of their donations for tax purposes.

To volunteer, collaborate, contribute ideas, or get more info about the project, just visit our Indiegogo page.

Black Rock, Red Earth: Burning Man in Australia

by Whatsblem the Pro

A typical Aussie, hanging onto the Earth by his toes

A typical Aussie, hanging onto the Earth by his toes

  In 2009, a small gathering of about thirty people came together in Bellingen, New South Wales, Australia, to have an informal burn of their own. It went so well that it became an actual event in 2010, with over four hundred in attendance. Burning Seed was born, and with it Red Earth City.

  The event was moved to Matong State Forest, NSW in 2011, and it just keeps getting bigger, with over 600 burners making the trek in 2012, and considerably more than that expected this year. The site lies nestled in a forest of Cyprus pine and gum trees in the middle of the Riverina District of New South Wales, a huge agricultural center featuring vast expanses of lightly rolling pasture.

  I was privileged to work with some of Burning Seed’s prime movers on an art project in Reno back in 2012, so when the shadowy cabal of grossly amoral alien oligarchs that controls Burners.me from behind the scenes (exposé coming soon!) commanded me to investigate this new wonder down under or suffer their reptilian wrath, I cowered and tugged my forelock respectfully. . . and then I got in touch with Bradley “Big Deal” Ogden, head of Burning Seed’s Department of Planning and Infrastructure (DPI).

Bradley "Big Deal" Ogden, head of the down-under DPW

Bradley “Big Deal” Ogden, head of the down-under DPW

WHATSBLEM THE PRO Hey, Big Deal.

So tell me: what’s your role with Burning Seed, and how did you discover Burning Man?

BRADLEY “BIG DEAL” OGDEN I run the DPI (Department of Planning and Infrastructure), which is our version of Black Rock’s DPW. I work with different teams to deliver the town plan (we’re still a town, not a city yet), and all of the town’s infrastructure – marquees, generators, toilets, etc. – everything that’s not the Temple or the Effigy.

I was planning a trip to America in 2009, and a friend told me to go to Burning Man. “Trust me,” she said, “you’ll love it!” I trusted her, and I loved it.

WHATSBLEM THE PRO How big is your DPI crew?

BRADLEY “BIG DEAL” OGDEN The DPI is just four people pre-event, and two during the event.

WHATSBLEM THE PRO Aside from being that much smaller and on different terrain, how does Burning Seed differ from Burning Man?

BRADLEY “BIG DEAL” OGDEN There are lots of the same things going on, but as you say: on a much smaller scale. It’s a lot more tight-knit than Burning Man. . . you can really feel the community. We have all types there, with healthy participation of locals from the immediate surrounding area, along with the people who show up from all over Australia, New Zealand, and the world.

I must say, the quality of what is going on, for a small event, is just amazing. . . slick theme camps, great art, and this year we’ll see our first fleet of art cars!

WHATSBLEM THE PRO How do you apply the ten principles differently?

Burning Seed's Effigy loves you this much

Burning Seed’s Effigy loves you this much

OUT OF STOCK ON ITEM #8347 (PAUL HOGAN JOKE)

OUT OF STOCK ON ITEM #8347 (PAUL HOGAN JOKE)

BRADLEY “BIG DEAL” OGDEN We try to apply them in much the same way, actually.

WHATSBLEM THE PRO What kind of arrangements do you have to make with the authorities? Are you harassed by law enforcement? Do they even have a presence at your event?

BRADLEY “BIG DEAL” OGDEN Arrangements are made with the New South Wales State Forestry Department for use of the land. They’ve been hugely supportive of the event over the last three years, as has the local community.

Being in a State Forest and surrounded by farmland poses a few problems for us, namely fire hazards. Australia is very prone to bush fires; in fact, a lot of our native flora relies on it to reproduce. . . so we’re lighting up a 12.5-meter effigy in the middle of a tinder box. We work closely with the RFS (Rural Fire Service) and State Forestry to keep the risk down. I bought a fire truck this year, which will act as Red Earth Fire and Rescue’s first unit.

As for law enforcement, we have a minor police presence; two or three officers who just pop in and out over the course of the weekend. They also are supportive of the event!

All the burn, none of the dust

All the burn, none of the dust

WHATSBLEM THE PRO Who handles the money, and where does it go?

BRADLEY “BIG DEAL” OGDEN Phil Smart and Jodi Rivet handle the money, which all goes back into the festival. The financial info is made public everywhere; we donate some money to the local school every year, as well.

WHATSBLEM THE PRO How have things changed at your event since you began? What are the goals for the future?

BRADLEY “BIG DEAL” OGDEN Our internal organizational structure and processes have evolved remarkably quickly, and by leaps and bounds; our overall group of Team Leads has grown, in people and experience; event attendance has blossomed and continues to grow rapidly.

For the future, we’d simply like to stay on the track we’re on, and get bigger and better. Personally, I’d like to see this become one of the world’s great burns in the next five years. I think we have the right ingredients here, and more and more people come out of the woodwork to join us every year. It’s exciting times; we’re expecting 800 or more this year.

Seeing more collaboration in future between burner groups in Australia and New Zealand would be awesome too, both at our respective burns and in Nevada. That’s already starting to happen; I went over for KiwiBurn to work last year, and we had three of them over for Burning Seed in 2012. Two of us went back for KiwiBurn 2013.

WHATSBLEM THE PRO Tell me about the differences between Burning Seed and Kiwiburn

BRADLEY “BIG DEAL” OGDEN The differences between Burning Seed and KiwiBurn? [laughs]

Do I have to answer that one?

WHATSBLEM THE PRO You do now!

Dance party with Bruce, Bruce, Bruce, Bruce, and Bruce

Dance party with Bruce, Bruce, Bruce, Bruce, and Bruce

FACT: Australians also have asses, much like our own

FACT: Australians also have asses, much like our own

BRADLEY “BIG DEAL” OGDEN They’re two entirely different festivals, almost. Not totally, but the vibe is a lot different. There are lots more student/hippie types at KiwiBurn, and we’re a bit more Mad Max. I think our theme camps are better. . . much better, in fact. The crew on both sides of the ditch are awesome, though. So basically, we have fewer hippies here in Australia, although they’re still there.

WHATSBLEM THE PRO I wish I could make it! Maybe I could sell a kidney or kidnap an heiress or something for the airfare.

BRADLEY “BIG DEAL” OGDEN Yeah, who needs two? You’d be welcome, mate, come on down and we’ll find something for you to do.

Burning Seed 2013 will be taking place October 2nd to October 8th this year. First-tier tickets are going for AU$125, and full-priced tickets for AU$165 ($131.81 and $174 in U.S. dollars, respectively).

Bend it Over for Me, Baby

by Whatsblem the Pro

DPW PRC: They bend over for you 'cause it's so dirty

DPW PRC: They bend over for you ’cause it’s so dirty

When Burning Man is long over and Black Rock City just a thought in the minds of goddesses and gods for another year, DPW’s Playa Restoration Team is still out there, making “Leave No Trace” come true.

Maybe you think working Restoration is a piece of cake. It’s just partying on all the leftovers and picking stuff up, right?

Maybe. . . but “picking stuff up” may entail bending over at the waist eleventy squintillion times a day, every day, for weeks or months, with a distinct lack of all the shade and resources and entertainment that abound before Exodus. People who work Resto deserve your respecto.

A couple of picker-upper roughnecks who call themselves The Hun and Easygoin have paid tribute to our noble Resto warriors with a spirited video that gives us all a reminder of how grueling picking up all that MOOP can be. Can you say “lower back pain?” I knew that you could.

This video also reminds us, though, that the Restoration Team doesn’t just do our dirty work for us; they do our dirty work for us with gusto, èlan, verve, joie de vivre, esprit de corps, sisu, and a stiff upper lip. Under the circumstances, they even look pretty good doing it. . . and hey, useful is the new sexy.

Next time you’re out on the town and you see someone wearing Restoration crew swag, tell the bartender their next round is on you. Bend over backwards to make them feel appreciated; they have, after all, bent over forwards for you already, thousands of times.

From the Playa Restoration Team’s page at Burningman.com, here’s a list, in no particular order, of the top thirteen MOOP issues on the playa:

1. Rebar, Tent Stakes and Ground Anchors

There’s nothing that a pair of vice grips and some leverage can’t pull out. And anything hammered into the ground will just get squeezed out of the playa another day, after a series of freezes and thaws.

2. Abandoned Art, Abandoned Camps, Abandoned Stuff
Get your stuff off the playa!

3. Grey Water/Black Water Dumping
Dumping your grey/black water on the ground is nasty for the environment, and can get you a hefty fine from the BLM.

4. Dunes
Why do dunes matter? We share this land with others who use it, and it’s important that we keep it safe for vehicle passage by keeping the playa flat (The Black Rock Desert is known to be one of the flattest stretches of land on Earth). Dunes are formed when windblown dust bounces off stationary objects and reforms on the ground, attracting more and more dust to the pile and exponentially creating a bigger dune. A mere pencil can create a dune. Once they start, there is nothing to stop them, except us. Caught at an early stage, dunes can be stopped by simply raking them down with a landscape rake. Be sure to MOOP the area afterward.

5. Fireworks Debris
Fireworks are not allowed in Black Rock City; unfortunately, some folks do sneak them in, and more unfortunately, the people who light them off are rarely the same people that clean up after them.

6. Carpet Fiber/Debris
Carpets, rugs, and old tattered tarps are often shredded to bits, leaving behind micro-sized MOOP over large areas.

7. Cloth, Fiber and Rope Debris
Torn fragments of clothes, costumes, jewelry, and other fibrous materials.

8. Metal Debris
Nails, screws, fasteners, metal slag, beer bottle tops, etc.–there is hardly anything on the playa that isn’t fastened with metal. Whether your constructing something out of wood or welding, a magnet sweeper with a release handle (do a web search) will work wonders getting metal quickly and easily off the ground.

9. Cigarette Butts
DO NOT DROP CIGARETTES ON THE BLACK ROCK DESERT. THE PLAYA IS NOT A GIANT ASHTRAY.

10. Glass Debris
Broken beer bottles, broken windshields, etc.

11. Plastic Debris
Plastic bottle tops, packaging, baggies, zip ties, duct tape, caution tape, etc. Plastic is all too often airborne MOOP due to wind conditions and carelessness. Manage your plastic materials, keep them secure and recycle. Hint: Cut off the top of a 1 gallon jug of water and you have an excellent MOOP bucket.

12. Wood Debris
Wood chips, bark, palettes, splinters, sawdust, boxes, cardboard, paper, etc. Though often thought to be “organic,” wood is simply not found naturally the playa, and it is here where we must draw the line — it’s MOOP. The impact of wood is consistently the highest of all the traces and must be eliminated. We simply ask you to manage your wood. Place a tarp on the ground for your work zones, woodpiles, and burnable debris.

13. Plants
Plants, palm trees, pine needles, palm fronds, leaves, etc. Trees, plants, and leaves die, break, and shred, creating a huge mess of micro-sized MOOP spread out over a wide area. Factor in the dust storms and you’ve got a disaster to deal with on your hands and knees.

original painting by Balls

Peace, Love, and Unicorns

self cleaning toilet super bowlWho’s got it better than us? NOBODY! Well, some right now could make a claim for Baltimore…yeah right – have you ever seen The Wire? If not you must, it’s considered to be the greatest TV show ever created; it might not cast Baltimore in a very good light, but as a drama it certainly beats San Francisco’s equivalent, Nash Bridges featuring Don Johnson from Miami Vice and Cheech from Cheech and Chong…but, I digress. This post is about unicorns not ravers ravens. Others, perhaps not in the Bay Area, could make a claim that who has it better than us is The Fucking Unicorns.

What’s a Unicorn? I’m reminded of the Virgin Airlines pre-flight safety briefing “for the 1 in a million of you who’ve never operated an aircraft seatbelt before…” If you were born yesterday, let me break down for you the Facts About Unicorns. A unicorn is a marvellous, mystical creaturof hope and possibilities.

original art by Balls

original art by Balls

The earliest recorded mention in classical literature was circa 400 BC in Greece by Ctesias, a witchdoctor-cum-historian who studied ancient (in those times) Persia and India. The Romans knew of two species of them. Early Chinese mythology – like, 2600 BC early – talks of Virgins taming unicorns by suckling them. The word comes from ancient Hebrew, (unicorns are in the Bible…) best translated as “monoceros” – which is also a galactic constellation. Based on North Korea’s moves to harvest DNA from a recently discovered Unicorn Lair near Pyongyang, like some Sasquatch anomaly…perhaps they might not be quite so mythical after all, in today’s modern times of parahuman/animal/manbearpig-monkeying around with Nature’s Creations. Excelsior! For example, in the 17th century they found a unicorn skeleton in a Germany forest. And then a century later they found another one. This means there’s a chance we can bring this creature back to life just like the woolly mammoth and miniature aliens.

The only thing better than a unicorn is multiple unicorns. And they need to be fucking, because the world needs more unicorns. See, unicorns are like pandas – all cuteness, but little naughtiness. That’s not just my opinion – there is actual academic research on the Sexuality of Unicorns. Here’s a quote:

The unicorn is magic. It is fearless. It is a horse, a goat, a lion, a warrior, and a
companion. Its horn is a weapon and the most precious of all medicine. This creature is known to
live in an enchanted forest and tends to be the object of extreme desire. It has been hunted, loved,
and marveled over. unicorn skeletonAlthough unicorns are not considered part of the animal kingdom, they
possess these vivid qualities nonetheless. They have become an intricately woven myth with a
long history of transformation and interpretation. Something unique about these marvelous
creatures has contributed to their staying power in world mythology – and it has a lot to do with
their connection to the human being.

According to my gorgeous Mexican amiga Balls who painted the originals we’re showing here, the unicorn is actually an embodiment of an ancient Meso-potamian and Meso-American mythical creature. He has a big horn, because he goes around the universe ridding us of all the assholes. There sure is a shitload of assholes: therefore it’s imperative that unicorns must breed.

The Fucking Unicorns, a crew of Burners from Colorado, need our help, to bring their special brand of Playa loving back out to this year’s Burn. Good on them for getting their shit together early…just a reminder, the deadline for questionnaires to be submitted to BMOrg for art cars is May 15, art projects is June 19, and theme camp registrations is April 30. You’re already SOOL for an Art Grant…and you better create a Burner profile and register now for that if you want to even buy a ticket.

Last year these Fucking Unicorns brought the Imagination Machine – a double-rainbow unicorny thingy – to Burning Man and the Colorado Regional, Apogeea. Here’s what they have to say, in their own words (thanks Jill!)

Dear Friends of Burners.Me,

 

How are you?  We think you’re swell.  Also, you smell nice.  Say…do you like unicorns?  Do you also like rainbows?  Who doesn’t, right?  Hey…remember that rainbow art car last year, covered in clouds and humping unicorns?  Guess who has two hooves and made that thing…The Fucking Unicorns!  No really we did…and we’re working on getting “The Imagination Machine” back out to the playa so that we can play with you again.  Wanna help?

 

What’s that you say?  You don’t know who the Fucking Unicorns are?

 

car3Well…we’re a theme camp based primarily out of Colorado. We share a collective desire to add more life and color to the world.  We are those people. The ones walking down the street wearing a little more pink, a lot more faux fur, and way more sparkles than might be considered decent. You know the type?  Then we are your new best friends with whip cream and a cherry on top.

 

What now?  You don’t know what the Imagination Machine is?

 

car12(Sigh) The Imagination Machine, our pride and joy of the past year, is a mobile double rainbow with 7000 programmable LEDs, unicorns, glowing clouds, an aerial rig, cuddle cave, dance platform, and one of the best views of the playa.  What’s not to like, right?

 

Okay…now you remember.  What’s that?  Oh…what are we trying to do?

 

Jesh…so many questions.  Okay, here’s the deal.  We have a handful of repairs to make to our current vehicle and are working on purchasing a bigger and better vehicle to serve as the long term base for the Imagination Machine.  We also have some cosmetic improvements we hope to make by August – like new lighting programs for the LEDs and brighter lighting for the clouds.  In the long term, we’ve got some big ideas that include everything from a second aerial rig to new aerial apparatuses to ride-able carousel unicorns to crazy ground effects!

 

So you want to know what you can do to help, huh?  Great question!! 

 

car 12First, check out our Kickstarter: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1554537122/the-imagination-machine-f-king-unicorn-art-car?ref=email

 

Then, consider donating or helping us spread the word by forwarding the link to your burner friends.

 

uh-oh...here's trouble!

uh-oh…here’s trouble!

You Sir, are a god among men…a king among non-kings…a star among lesser magnitude stars.  What’s that?  Oh, you’re a woman.  Sorry.  That mustache is confusing…but it looks good on you.  Shine on you hairy diamond and we will see you on the playa.  Good talk Russ.

 

Sincerely,

The Fucking Unicorns

If there’s one thing we and most other Burners can’t get enough of, it’s unicorns and double rainbows. Preferrably at the same time! Please support this project, and meanwhile enjoy our brief sampler of other Burner-related Unicorn activity…

photo by Panaramio

photo by Panaramio

photo by Nick Onken

photo by Nick Onken

photo from Guardian UK

photo from Guardian UK

photo by Jeff Greenwald

photo by Jeff Greenwald

Charlie the Unicorn art car

Charlie the Unicorn art car

photo from BurnerFashion

photo from BurnerFashion

“I wanna see you dry hump these hippies! Because that’s how unicorns express their love!” LOL

This has been one of my favorite posts to write so far. I learned a lot about unicorns, hope you did too. Please Like and Share. More Fucking Unicorns! Just go ahead and get horny and fuck already, will you?

moonicorn police sketch artist impression[Update: 11:33pm] thanks to our friend, the always-ready-to-down-trow-but-you-can-leave-yer-hat-on-like-a-youporn-icon Burner Dispatch for reminding us of the Unicorn’s horny cousin, much more likely to breed in captivity or indeed elsewhere, the Moonicorn. This creature was rumored to be sighted in New York city, around the time of Hurricane Sandy and Robot Heart‘s On The Fucking Moon party…apparently a unicorn needed to get to the Moon for the party, and since unicorns can’t fly, it had to be the bastard child of a unicorn and a pegasus! Fortunately it’s magic wings were able to help it and its friends escape the Super-Storm. Don’t believe all the rumors, but definitely look out for that Moonicorn!

moonicorn candy ravers moonicorn ladybug moonicorn pete moonicorn practising moonicorn white russian moonicorn zeus