My Kid Shirtcocked Your Honor Student

by Whatsblem the Pro

BRC: The happiest place on Earth?

BRC: The happiest place on Earth?

We’ve written about children at Burning Man before, and asked our readers to vote in a poll at the end of that article. The debate and discussion continues, and the poll numbers are running heavily in favor of people who think Burning Man is “a wonderful environment” for children, but there may yet be more to think and talk about on the subject.

Regular contributor Elias Has Wanderlust provoked a lively discussion in the Burning Man group on Facebook recently, by flatly asserting that Burning Man should be for adults only. Thus spake Elias:

Burning Man should clearly be an 18+ event — the city is not safe for children.”

Elias’ declamatory salvo brought forth a lot of frank anecdotes about kids on the playa, and some really good points on both sides of the debate. Interspersed with a modest dose of snark and some fairly irrelevant emotional appeals like “there is nothing more beautiful than a playa covered burner baby,” people actually started saying some interesting, illuminating things about bringing children to the playa.

It really is a thorny problem that people butt heads over readily. That should tell us that there are some contradictions in play, depending on the angle from which we approach the question of children at Burning Man; doesn’t radical inclusion make room for children? What about the inhibitory effect that children can have on adults at play? Isn’t Burning Man dangerous, particularly for children. . . but don’t we want our children to be raised in our culture, even if it is dangerous?

Some pros and cons to bringing children to the playa:

The real problem is that only two very partisan solutions have been proposed, and they’re both completely unacceptable to large swathes of burners. If we ban children, we ban a huge number of burner parents by association, and deny them the opportunity to transmit burner culture to their children early in the most meaningful way they know of. If we continue to allow children, they will continue to inhibit us when they show their faces outside of the Kidsville age-ghetto, and let’s face it: it’s only a matter of time before something ugly happens and someone’s child disappears and/or falls victim to one of the many, many hazards.

Your bundle of joy can't drink to forget his bundle of joy

Your bundle of joy can’t drink to forget his bundle of joy

People who think the answer is simple and obvious are merely displaying their bias and perpetuating the conflict. It’s disingenuous to say, for instance, that Black Rock City is a city like any other, and needs to have children in it. Burning Man’s municipal analogy is often usefully apt and sometimes beautiful, but it breaks down completely and easily in a dozen different ways when you start testing it. It’s a bit blinkered to say that Burning Man is just a big adult party, too; it’s also an arts festival, and a DIY theme park, and a great deal of it is very kid-friendly. . . or would be, anyway, if there weren’t so many heavily-intoxicated people around, and if it wasn’t all set in a context of overt sexuality that often goes way, way beyond mere nudity and into some territory that might actually disturb the minds of the innocent to witness.

We need an innovative solution that includes everyone, without putting limitations on anyone.

Maybe there should be separate events, geared for younger age groups? Burning Teen, Burning Tot? If we want to spread the culture, then spawning a few new events might be killing several birds with one stone.

We’d like to hear your ideas. How can we safely include the underage set and their parents in Burning Man, without muting the bacchanal for the adults?

Are ageist ghettos really the best we can do?
Are ageist ghettos really the best we can do?

What we don’t want to hear: more anecdotes or opinions about how it’s fine for kids to be out there, or about how it’s unacceptable for kids to come to Burning Man. We’ve already heard those positions, again and again, and they’re both too simplistic to lead to anything but disagreement and a standoff. We’re asking you to think outside the box and find a solution that everyone can live with.

Keep in mind that not all parents behave responsibly, but some do. . . so please don’t bother sharing anecdotes about the children of attentive, sensible parents having a great time on the playa, or anecdotes about dull-witted earth mamas walking around in dust storms cradling tiny infants. Both of these things happen, and much more, and that’s why we need a better solution than just banning or allowing children.

Your thoughts?

Spring: In the Air, and on FIRE

by Whatsblem the Pro

Mr. President, we must not allow a trebuchet gap!

Mr. President, we must not allow a trebuchet gap!

Have you ever wanted to set something on fire and fling it straight to Hell with a trebuchet, then set the trebuchet on fire and dance your crazy ass off?

I know, stupid question. We all have. It’s a universal dream, held in common by all humanity, everywhere.

If you haven’t yet managed to make that dream come true for yourself, Spring Fling is for you. They’ve got the trebuchet, they know the secret of making fire, they’ve got Opulent Temple, Dancetronauts, and Digital Apex personnel to play the special music for you. All they need is your crazy dancing ass, and the world can finally end happily. . . and it’s free!

It seems like new burner events are popping up everywhere lately, like mushrooms. . . and pretty much everyone agrees: that’s a good thing. As a culture, we need to spread and grow. We need to find opportunities to preserve and evolve our more radical artistic and recreational tendencies, and get ourselves out from under the thumb of the corporation that runs Burning Man. Regional events, sanctioned or unsanctioned, are the scaffolding that makes that happen.

To that end, from April 26th to 28th the Mojave Desert fifteen miles outside of Barstow will come alive with lights, beats, poi spinning/fire dancing, pyrotechnics, whatever amazing talents and gear you bring with you, and a sky full of high-velocity objects of your choice zooming devil-may-care to a fiery doom. “Bring your tools,” exhorts the website for the event. “Bring your hard hats. Bring your party pants.” Bring that inanimate object you hate, too, for the trebuchet.

You’ll also get an opportunity to learn something about meteorite hunting, and maybe even find a meteorite or two of your own. The dry lake bed where Spring Fling is being held is prime territory for meteorite hunters, and you’ll undoubtedly witness some innovative techniques for finding them.

Due to the site being private property (though it is adjacent to BLM land), Spring Fling has some unusual restrictions – no glass is allowed, for instance – but for the most part, this decommodified leave-no-trace event will be free of the rules and restrictions that prevail in Black Rock City. The judicious reader will appreciate the depth and quality of that freedom when I mention that you must sign a liability waiver to attend, which legally speaking is a lot less laughable than the somewhat less than binding ‘contract’ we see on the backs of Burning Man tickets. Spring Fling isn’t going to be total anarchy, but it will definitely be potentially fatal in a good way.

Attention, meteorites: You can run, but you can't hide.

Attention, meteorites: You can run, but you can’t hide.

Here’s the events schedule for Spring Fling 2013:

FRIDAY

Friday night we will hold a large bonfire at Center Plaza. There will be music and the Beer Garden will be open (the Beer Garden is free, however there is a two beer limit).

A smaller trebuchet will be launching whatever you bring to launch, up to fifteen pounds.

The entertainment tent will have some stupid movie playing, and there will be popcorn available. Bring your own chair.

SATURDAY

During the day the Beer Garden will be open, body painting will be offered, and a geologist will be leading hikes for meteorite hunters. Several camps will have music playing and other attractions.

All Day: Trebuchet building will start early; please bring your tools and hardhat. Yes, a hardhat is required. We will have the main frames already assembled. The goal is to have it completed by 3PM and a test firing at 4:00 PM.

9:30 AM  10:30 AM: Coyote Dirt Pancake Breakfast. Join us at Center Plaza for some warm pancakes.

11:00 AM – 1:00 PM: Mud wrestling competition will take place. Winner will be the second to launch the large trebuchet. Showers will be available for you to clean up.

1:00 PM 2:00 PM: The 3K Coyote Run. Try our obstacle course and see if you can make it to the finish line. Mud, fire, Sand People, coyotes, beer/soda, water. . . and hopefully more Sand People. Winner will be third to launch the large trebuchet. Showers will be available for you to clean up.

1:00 PM – 2:00 PM: Ultimate Animal Costume Dodge Ball. Bring your animal costume or paint your body to look like some sort of animal. Last person standing will be fourth to launch the trebuchet.

2:30 PM – 3:30 PM: Burning Man Lessons. Come and learn about Burning Man and how to prepare and participate in this epic journey. Hear from experienced burners and let them teach you how to prepare, setup camp, what to bring, the do’s and don’ts of Burning Man, and anything else you want to know.

3:30 PM 5:30 PM: Fire poi dancing lessons. Want to learn how to dance with fire? Come to this event and learn the art of fire poi dancing. Our instructors will teach you the basic skills and equipment needed.

4:00 PM: Listen for the horn, bell or some other large noise. The practice launch will be underway.

3:30 PM 5:30 PM: Beer Pong/Quarters Tournament. We will teach you how to play Beer Pong with the big dogs. This a 21-and-over activity; wristbands will be checked.

4:00 PM – 5:30 PM: Communal camp clean-up. Please join us in preparing the large trebuchet for launching and general camp cleanup. We will do a general camp cleanup and prepare the area around the trebuchet for the burn. This will be a communal effort so please come.

5:30 PM 6:30 PM: Fire display and show. You won’t want to miss this.

6:30 PM: Join us in the plaza for the Memory Launch. During the day a hay bale will be available to which you can affix a note, photos of loved ones, etc. . . anything you would like to symbolically fling away or give a special ride. This launch will be one of sorrows, pains and joys. Once the hay bale has burned to ashes, the party will begin.

After the Memory Launch, we’ll have a fire show and start launching other things with the big trebuchet. When the moon rises above the mountains around 10:00 PM, we will burn the trebuchet to the ground with a fireworks show to celebrate the event.

SUNDAY

The gate will open at 8:00 AM and you can leave at that time. We’re asking for volunteers to help break the large tents down and load them on the big truck. Please clean up your camping area and haul all your trash out.

For more information, check the Spring Fling website, or the Facebook page for the event.

Black Rock, Red Earth: Burning Man in Australia

by Whatsblem the Pro

A typical Aussie, hanging onto the Earth by his toes

A typical Aussie, hanging onto the Earth by his toes

  In 2009, a small gathering of about thirty people came together in Bellingen, New South Wales, Australia, to have an informal burn of their own. It went so well that it became an actual event in 2010, with over four hundred in attendance. Burning Seed was born, and with it Red Earth City.

  The event was moved to Matong State Forest, NSW in 2011, and it just keeps getting bigger, with over 600 burners making the trek in 2012, and considerably more than that expected this year. The site lies nestled in a forest of Cyprus pine and gum trees in the middle of the Riverina District of New South Wales, a huge agricultural center featuring vast expanses of lightly rolling pasture.

  I was privileged to work with some of Burning Seed’s prime movers on an art project in Reno back in 2012, so when the shadowy cabal of grossly amoral alien oligarchs that controls Burners.me from behind the scenes (exposé coming soon!) commanded me to investigate this new wonder down under or suffer their reptilian wrath, I cowered and tugged my forelock respectfully. . . and then I got in touch with Bradley “Big Deal” Ogden, head of Burning Seed’s Department of Planning and Infrastructure (DPI).

Bradley "Big Deal" Ogden, head of the down-under DPW

Bradley “Big Deal” Ogden, head of the down-under DPW

WHATSBLEM THE PRO Hey, Big Deal.

So tell me: what’s your role with Burning Seed, and how did you discover Burning Man?

BRADLEY “BIG DEAL” OGDEN I run the DPI (Department of Planning and Infrastructure), which is our version of Black Rock’s DPW. I work with different teams to deliver the town plan (we’re still a town, not a city yet), and all of the town’s infrastructure – marquees, generators, toilets, etc. – everything that’s not the Temple or the Effigy.

I was planning a trip to America in 2009, and a friend told me to go to Burning Man. “Trust me,” she said, “you’ll love it!” I trusted her, and I loved it.

WHATSBLEM THE PRO How big is your DPI crew?

BRADLEY “BIG DEAL” OGDEN The DPI is just four people pre-event, and two during the event.

WHATSBLEM THE PRO Aside from being that much smaller and on different terrain, how does Burning Seed differ from Burning Man?

BRADLEY “BIG DEAL” OGDEN There are lots of the same things going on, but as you say: on a much smaller scale. It’s a lot more tight-knit than Burning Man. . . you can really feel the community. We have all types there, with healthy participation of locals from the immediate surrounding area, along with the people who show up from all over Australia, New Zealand, and the world.

I must say, the quality of what is going on, for a small event, is just amazing. . . slick theme camps, great art, and this year we’ll see our first fleet of art cars!

WHATSBLEM THE PRO How do you apply the ten principles differently?

Burning Seed's Effigy loves you this much

Burning Seed’s Effigy loves you this much

OUT OF STOCK ON ITEM #8347 (PAUL HOGAN JOKE)

OUT OF STOCK ON ITEM #8347 (PAUL HOGAN JOKE)

BRADLEY “BIG DEAL” OGDEN We try to apply them in much the same way, actually.

WHATSBLEM THE PRO What kind of arrangements do you have to make with the authorities? Are you harassed by law enforcement? Do they even have a presence at your event?

BRADLEY “BIG DEAL” OGDEN Arrangements are made with the New South Wales State Forestry Department for use of the land. They’ve been hugely supportive of the event over the last three years, as has the local community.

Being in a State Forest and surrounded by farmland poses a few problems for us, namely fire hazards. Australia is very prone to bush fires; in fact, a lot of our native flora relies on it to reproduce. . . so we’re lighting up a 12.5-meter effigy in the middle of a tinder box. We work closely with the RFS (Rural Fire Service) and State Forestry to keep the risk down. I bought a fire truck this year, which will act as Red Earth Fire and Rescue’s first unit.

As for law enforcement, we have a minor police presence; two or three officers who just pop in and out over the course of the weekend. They also are supportive of the event!

All the burn, none of the dust

All the burn, none of the dust

WHATSBLEM THE PRO Who handles the money, and where does it go?

BRADLEY “BIG DEAL” OGDEN Phil Smart and Jodi Rivet handle the money, which all goes back into the festival. The financial info is made public everywhere; we donate some money to the local school every year, as well.

WHATSBLEM THE PRO How have things changed at your event since you began? What are the goals for the future?

BRADLEY “BIG DEAL” OGDEN Our internal organizational structure and processes have evolved remarkably quickly, and by leaps and bounds; our overall group of Team Leads has grown, in people and experience; event attendance has blossomed and continues to grow rapidly.

For the future, we’d simply like to stay on the track we’re on, and get bigger and better. Personally, I’d like to see this become one of the world’s great burns in the next five years. I think we have the right ingredients here, and more and more people come out of the woodwork to join us every year. It’s exciting times; we’re expecting 800 or more this year.

Seeing more collaboration in future between burner groups in Australia and New Zealand would be awesome too, both at our respective burns and in Nevada. That’s already starting to happen; I went over for KiwiBurn to work last year, and we had three of them over for Burning Seed in 2012. Two of us went back for KiwiBurn 2013.

WHATSBLEM THE PRO Tell me about the differences between Burning Seed and Kiwiburn

BRADLEY “BIG DEAL” OGDEN The differences between Burning Seed and KiwiBurn? [laughs]

Do I have to answer that one?

WHATSBLEM THE PRO You do now!

Dance party with Bruce, Bruce, Bruce, Bruce, and Bruce

Dance party with Bruce, Bruce, Bruce, Bruce, and Bruce

FACT: Australians also have asses, much like our own

FACT: Australians also have asses, much like our own

BRADLEY “BIG DEAL” OGDEN They’re two entirely different festivals, almost. Not totally, but the vibe is a lot different. There are lots more student/hippie types at KiwiBurn, and we’re a bit more Mad Max. I think our theme camps are better. . . much better, in fact. The crew on both sides of the ditch are awesome, though. So basically, we have fewer hippies here in Australia, although they’re still there.

WHATSBLEM THE PRO I wish I could make it! Maybe I could sell a kidney or kidnap an heiress or something for the airfare.

BRADLEY “BIG DEAL” OGDEN Yeah, who needs two? You’d be welcome, mate, come on down and we’ll find something for you to do.

Burning Seed 2013 will be taking place October 2nd to October 8th this year. First-tier tickets are going for AU$125, and full-priced tickets for AU$165 ($131.81 and $174 in U.S. dollars, respectively).

Forgotten City Buried in Two Inches of Gravel

by Whatsblem the Pro

Image: John Marsh and Kelly Curtis

Image: John Marsh and Kelly Curtis

There’s just a hint of mayhem in the story behind what shouldn’t be a terribly noteworthy change of plans for the fourth annual Forgotten City festival this year.

The event is the Las Vegas Burning Man Regional‘s yearly Memorial Day weekend outing. A month ago, the usual suspects in organizing Forgotten City announced that the event would not take place in 2013, due to a new baby in the family.

“I was actually looking at a site in Pahrump, Nevada for something else at the time,” says Dirk Schmidhofer, the organizer who has taken on the task of keeping Forgotten City’s fire lit this year. “I started calling it St. Elmo’s Fire, but too many people thought of the TV show, and of Sesame Street. Damian was mentoring me then, and I asked if I could use the Forgotten City name. He said ‘Sure, and here’s all my website stuff, too.’”

Dirk Schmidhofer at FC3. Photo: Adam Shane

Dirk Schmidhofer at FC3. Photo: Adam Shane

With the Las Vegas Regional in his corner, Schmidhofer sought a permit for the event in Pahrump, Nevada, a small and economically-challenged town about fifty miles west of Las Vegas.

On March 1st, 2013, Selwyn Harris wrote an article in the Pahrump Valley Times about the Pahrump Town Board approving plans for FC4 to be the inaugural event at the new Pahrump Fairgrounds. Town Board members voted 5-0 to approve the event, but waited for a contract review from the town’s attorney before giving the official go-ahead.

On March 8th, just one week later, Selwyn Harris wrote another article, entitled “Mini Burning Man Event up in Smoke.”

“We went back to the previous location,” says Schmidhofer. “Bootleg Canyon near Boulder City, Nevada. Boulder City Parks and Recreation has permitted Forgotten City the last two years, so they know the organization; we obtained a permit as we had done in previous years, and we’re selling tickets as we speak for Memorial Day Weekend.”

The Pahrump Fairgrounds, it turns out, are a bit unfinished.

“They just bladed off 27 acres,” Schmidhofer told me. “They put in a very large asphalt parking lot at one end. It’s a brand new fairgrounds and they’re doing it as they get money; they are working on more funding, and want to put in soccer fields and so on.”

In order for Forgotten City 4 to burn in Pahrump, Nye County wanted Schmidhofer to either pave the fairgrounds, or lay down a two-inch bed of gravel wherever there would be vehicles parked.

“I was actually planning on renting a water truck, a la Burning Man,” says Schmidhofer, but according to the County, “water is not considered a dust palliative for the purposes of complying with that law.”

And then, according to a press release from Pahrump’s town manager, Bill Kohbarger, “A Nye County Sheriff’s Office representative contacted Burning Man advising them that everyone who gave away alcohol needed to obtain a liquor permit through their office.”

Meanwhile, Schmidhofer was taking a drubbing from citizen attendees in town board meetings over things that seemed to make no sense.

“Although we felt we were there with plenty of time, some felt we were springing this event on them. Others thought I was trying to skirt the process, even though I had spoken with everyone I could find or get a recommendation to talk to. I missed a face-to-face with the town manager, and they really zeroed in on that. He didn’t seem to mind though. Someone was upset because they thought we had the tickets printed up already; I guess they’re still in the 20th century there. What we have is a website created by the founder of Forgotten City a couple of years ago; a few minor changes, and it’s ready to sell tickets online — everything is e-commerce, but they didn’t understand that.”

According to Schmidhofer, the town board meeting attendees seemed to ignore the fact that the group had done this event before, and already had fully-developed and tested plans for security, fire safety, EMS, etc. “One person specifically said at the microphone that twelve weeks was not enough. . . but I had been working with the fire chief on all of it, and he even vouched for us at the meeting.”

This only looks like Satan worship. Photo: John Marsh and Kelly Curtis

This only looks like Satan worship. Photo: John Marsh and Kelly Curtis

Reader comments on the related articles in the Pahrump Valley Times were worse than vitriolic. One Pahrump local logged in as “Desert Cat” called the abortive festival at the fairgrounds “your little Burning Man freak show” and exulted over the cancellation: “Best of days for Pahrump. You see, we succeeded in putting a stop to an event that would have drawn the likes of you and yours to our town.”

In the end, it’s hard to say what went wrong. The Pahrump town board seemed willing enough, but was Nye County angling for Burning Man to surface their new fairgrounds for free, and even pay for the privilege? Were they simply trying to keep the festival out? Was it just a few cranky conservatives among the locals, making waves?

Schmidhofer’s take on it is that the town board was genuinely on his side: “The Pahrump town board chairman and the town manager were both quite upset about the situation. It is a pretty depressed locale economically, and they were trying to bring a little revenue into the community.”

Burning Man itself has come under quite a lot of recent scrutiny in Nevada as a cash cow by lawmakers and local governments looking for more teats to suckle in hard economic times. It’s not hard to imagine a beleaguered town board being hamstrung by a greedy County killing off the goose that might lay a few much-needed golden eggs.

John Pawlak, a burner who lives in Pahrump, had this to say about the reaction of his neighbors to the plan to bring Forgotten City to their rural hamlet:

“It seems ironic that certain individuals in this town can demonize and prejudge the folks at the Regional Burning Man group who were asked to come to our town at our request and then define them as homosexuals, nudists, drug addicts, hedonists and so forth. Are we blind when we in fact have all of those traits and more as a community, but we choose to hide those facts from the general public? Maybe we don’t have the nudism, but we have our brothels, swingers’ club, drug addicts, meth labs, plus we carry guns. We continue to slam shut the door on change here in town. If we are to make this a better place to live, we’re going to have to start someplace. We constantly complain of nothing to do here and when something or someone comes knocking at our door to begin the process, we shut it in their face.”

24 C.O.R.E. Projects Approved for Cargo Cult [update]

Burning Man has announced this year’s CORE sample: 24 projects, 16 from the US and 8 from other countries including Lithuania and the Netherlands.

According to Visual News:

The “Circle of Regional Effigies,” better known as C.O.R.E., is a collaborative exhibition of art installations built from regional burning man communities around the world. Whether in France, China or Idaho, groups of “burners” come together to design, build, and eventually burn their effigy. The structures cannot exceed 20 ft by 20 ft (6.1 m by 6.1m) and must consist of mostly wood material. Typically, the designs for C.O.R.E. have some inspiration from symbols of a particular region. Last year, there was a longhorn bull from Houston, trees and clouds from Seattle and a Cod from Boston.

The Huffington Post notes the ambition behind the creativity:

This year’s project lineup showcases hippies at their most ambitious, with projects completely self-funded and self-transported by creatives devoted to the Burning Man-ifesto

The projects are:

Temple of Times from Austin

Hand of Inspiration from Israel

The Year the Playa Stood Still from Minnesota

Meditation from China / Taiwan

Stairway to Heaven from France

Anti-Monument to DC Art Culture and Former President John Frum aka The DC Pyramid Scheme, from Washington DC

PyscheDelicate Arch from Salt Lake City

The Czech Oasis from the Czech Republic

Playa Queen from Sacramento

Starfish from San Diego

Dutch Windmill from the Netherlands

Marvin, The Vortexagon from Idaho

Other approved projects to consider exploring:

Altar of the Wetlands: Recreating Nature in a Post-Industrial Society from New Orleans

Artifactuary from Vancouver

The Cargo Mother from Houston

Flor de Muerto – Flower of the Dead from Victoria

The Good, the Bad and the Naughty from Reno

Inchanted Forest from Indiana

Lituanica birds from Lithuania

Ludum Et Refugium from Portland

Source Maui “Kavai Ahi” from Maui

South Bay CORE from the South Bay

Star of the City from New York

via 24 C.O.R.E. Projects Approved for Burning Man 2013.

[Update 3/27/13 00:20am, cheers to Burner Jack Trash for the heads up] – three of the proposed C.O.R.E. projects that got rejected by BMOrg, have teamed up to create their own rebel art group, N.O.D.E. – the Nexus of Declined Effigies:

The CORE project was too good for us. BMORG spurned us. BRC isn’t sure what to think of us. We are the NODE. BMORG didn’t know what they did when they declined out talents. Now, we’ll band together and affect BRC FOREVER!!!

node photo