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Pumpin’ for the Man

by Whatsblem the Pro

IMAGE: Leo Cullum/Condé Nast

 

The Burning Man Org is hiring again! Do you have the Right Stuff for the job?

Having recently lost/let go of Quinn “Ghost Dancer” Yarborough (under, we should point out, reportedly amicable circumstances), the Org is now keen to fill the vacuum he left and hire a new Nevada Properties Manager. This is a full-time paid position, and the successful candidate will be eligible for benefits.

According to Kat Steinmetz, Black Rock City LLC’s Head of Human Resources and Administration, “this role is responsible for the management and oversight of Black Rock City’s Nevada properties and facilities. The Nevada Properties Manager is responsible for the complete maintenance of all facilities in Gerlach, Nevada, which include but are not limited to the Office, Helen’s House, the Saloon, the Trailer Park, the Showers Property, the old Theatre, and Black Rock Station (BRS).”

Note that you’ll need to live in or relocate to Gerlach, Nevada (population: small but pleasantly weird) in order to take the job. The NV Properties Manager traditionally resides at the DPW Ranch year-’round, which can get lonely and boring if you’re on your own and not easily entertained. The shrewd applicant will have an unruffled mind well-stocked with the kinds of thoughts that can carry one through a medium-length prison sentence without going stir crazy. A body devoid of all hint of genitalia may also be preferable, but in lieu of that you should be adept at arranging regular conjugal visits either in Reno, at the Ranch, or at one of the other ranches in between the two that exist specifically for that very purpose. If you’re the kind of person who thinks it would be a good goof to watch DPW roughnecks twitch and leap in response to every directive you bark at them in your Command Voice, then you may not mind the isolation and accompanying forced celibacy nearly as much.

The duties and essential job functions of the NV Properties Manager are as follows:

The following qualifications are required:

The following skills are not required, but candidates possessing them will be preferred:

If you think you qualify and you’d like a shot at the job, you can submit your résumé and cover letter online at http://blackrockcity.theresumator.com/apply/5Shp1N/Nevada-Properties-Manager.html?source=staff

To be considered for employment, you must submit your application by 5:00 PM on Sunday, Aug 25th, 2013.

Good luck!

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