Basic Burning Man Bitch

The Bold Italic has a hilarious look at the “Basic Bitches of the Bay“.

Although San Francisco in and of itself is a vibrant and unique city that fosters eccentricity, you will still see those who fall prey to the growing contagion of the Basic Bay Bitch. Without necessarily being bitchy, basic bitches embody the standard, typical nugget of certain SF subcultures. They can come in any age, gender, or race. You recognize them from a distance; and you also recognize yourself in them. So without any further ado, here are some of our most basic bitches:

One in particular looks very familiar!

 

Image: Leila Moussaoui, The Bold Italic

Image: Leila Moussaoui/The Bold Italic

Check out the other Basic Bitches of the Bay.

Blazed and Confused: the Simpsons Aftermath

blazing guy circle

The Simpsons broke burningman.com, just from its East Coast showing. It’s been down for at least 3 hours now: kind of surprising that BMOrg didn’t have someone working Sunday night in anticipation that something like this might happen.

The Simpsons has been rating very well this season, their recent Family Guy crossover was the #1 non-sports program on TV with 4.5% of households watching it.

simpsons cup cakes

The event is presented as a viable alternative for family camping on Labor Day weekend, and relatively easy to get to. $200 is mentioned as a ticket price for next year.

I think it’s fair to expect a massive increase in ticket demand for 2015, and a massive increase in the number of safari tourists who want to take selfies at Burning Man and cross it off their bucket list. “Oh you went to that thing on the Simpsons?”

I predict a ticket price increase, perhaps to $500 or more. The vehicle tax will stay, and may also be increased.

I don’t think it’s realistic to expect that the 40%+ Virgins who will be encouraged by this mainstream advertising will all learn our values and read the 20-page Survival Guide before they show up. It’s time to consider some changes to the event, such as more recycling stations and paid clean-up crews. Otherwise, the DPW Restoration volunteer team are just going to get saddled with the MOOP, like they were this year from Caravancicle/Lost Hotel, Gypsy Flower Power, and other camps.

Another consideration would be selling blinky lights at Center Camp. This is a safety issue. Let’s forget about this “all commerce is banned” charade, there were 45 licensed vendors this year. Everything from gasoline to energy drinks is for sale – not to mention AirBnB rooms and merchandise. Let’s banish darkwads, if we can.

simpsons man el pulpo

We’ve heard a rumor – currently unconfirmed – that next year’s theme will be Circus-related. The last rumor we heard was that 2013 would be aliens, we were asked not to repeat that and we respected our source’s request. It turned out to be true when the Cargo Cult Man base was a giant UFO.

Circus seems appropriate, because Burning Man will now be full of ASSclowns, party animals, and frat boy monkeys.

Without giving away too many spoilers, those who feel that there’s more to Burning Man than drugs and nudity will be disappointed with the way Burning Man Blazing Guy was portrayed in the episode. Conservative Marge is initially hesitant about the free-spirited event, until she is unwittingly dosed with magic tea and starts tripping balls – then she loves it all. The aging baby boomers who fondly remember dropping acid in the Sixties will probably be driven to make Burning Man their next family camping destination. It’s surprising to see The Simpsons glorifying drug use in this way; it will only serve to reinforce the negative associations with Burning Man held by many in Defaultia. Disappointingly, there was nothing about any of the Principles. There were no sound camps, and absolutely no untz untz (EDM).

Pranking, shooting guns, tents flying away, dust storms, art cars, funky bicycles, costumes, giant sculptures, a long road trip through the desert to get there, drum circles, even fake Facebook accounts are all referenced.

I found the episode amusing, but not as funny as the earlier Malcolm in the Middle and South Park ones. I give it a 7/10, or three and a half stars.

Good luck getting tickets next year, Burners. I expect a brisk trade for the Commodification Camps and Donation tickets.

Who's the man in the cowboy hat?

Who’s the man in the cowboy hat?

Millhouse...phone home

Millhouse…phone home

First “Simpsons Go To Burning Man” Images

The Simpsons go to Burning Man this Sunday, November 16 at 8pm on FOX. The name of the episode is “Blazed and Confused”, and it guest stars Willem Dafoe as a Scarface-like teacher, and art cars Dusty Rhino and El Pulpo Mecanico.

From simpsonswiki.com:

Bart faces a tough test at school when he gets a new teacher, Mr. Lassen (guest voice Willem Dafoe), who vows to crush his spirit in the all-new “Blazing Guy” episode of THE SIMPSONS airing Sunday, Nov. 16 (8:00-8:30 PM ET/PT) on FOX

Blazed_and_Confused_promo_1 Blazed_and_Confused_promo_2 Blazed_and_Confused_promo_3 Blazed_and_Confused_promo_4

 

David Silverman, aka Tubatron, is a big-time Burner. You may recognize him by his flaming Tuba:

He played a massive role in The Simpsons. From Wikipedia:

David Silverman (born March 15, 1957) is an American animator best known fordirecting numerous episodes of the animated TV series The Simpsons, as well as The Simpsons Movie. Silverman was involved with the series from the very beginning, where he animated all of the original short Simpsons cartoons that aired on The Tracey Ullman Show and went on to serve as director of animation for several years…Silverman is largely credited with creating most of the “rules” for drawing The Simpsons. He is frequently called upon to animate difficult or especially important scenes…Silverman is also the director of the The Simpsons Movie, which was released July 27, 2007

The Simpsons will join some other popular comedy shows that have featured Burning Man:

Malcolm in the Middle

South Park

Dusty Rhino. Image: flickr

Dusty Rhino. Image: flickr

El Pulpo Mecanico. image: Oliver Fluck

El Pulpo Mecanico. image: Oliver Fluck

 

 

homer_jump_the_shark1

bm shark jumping

The now not-for-profit, charitable organization The Burning Man Project could learn something from the Simpsons. Co-creator Sam Simon was diagnosed with terminal cancer in 2012 and given 3 months to live. He pledged to give away all his $100 million fortune, to stop animals from being killed in shelters and to feed the homeless. He’s still doing it: read all about it in this Vanity Fair profile.