The Tin Principles: An Alternate Viewpoint

I just came across this classic comment from Tron, from February this year. They are commenting on the post “A Few Ground Rules For Talking About the 10 Principles” at


1. RADICAL INCLUSION: Anyone can buy a ticket and attend the event. While the stranger may be ‘respected’, that doesn’t mean you’re invited to the private parties or any parties for that matter. If you don’t look right, don’t act right, and don’t know someone who knows someone, bugger off.

2011_08_29_BurningMan_e_59652. GIFTING: Make about 50-100 trinkets to give out to people who don’t harsh your vibe. It’s best to make necklaces because most people don’t have pockets to put your little thing into. The more of these little gifts you have hanging on your body by the end of the week, the cooler you are perceived to be by the newbs (which might get your laid), but everyone else thinks you look like a dork. And handing off illegal drugs as a gift without telling the recipient what’s in your hand can get your new best friend arrested (you too).

3. DECOMMODIFICATION: Only people with a email address are allowed to make money off the wide-eyed wonderment of the citizens, and participate in the many black market exchanges happening on the playa. Yes, Suzy, cash is readily exchanged on the playa, but unless you’ve recently had sex with someone pulling a salary from the Borg, don’t even think about it.

4. RADICAL SELF-RELIANCE: Don’t become a burden on the infrastructure. Take care of your shit. Don’t go around asking people for a ride back to San Francisco on Sunday morning. Stop asking for meat and cheese from strangers. Stop alarming people that you must have been roofied because you can’t remember what happened last night after having 15 drinks and a bottle of wine.

5. RADICAL SELF-EXPRESSION: Do whatever you want, just don’t touch people. Don’t ask people if you can hug them, they only say yes to be polite. If your body looks like a train wreck, clothing is the best option because people are eating.

6. COMMUNAL EFFORT: Build something or help build something and call it, ‘art’. It doesn’t have to be good, it just needs to keep you busy and out of real trouble so no one has to deal with your problems.

7. CIVIC RESPONSIBILITY: If you bring sparkle ponies out there – they’re YOUR problem. If you lead a camp, find out which members have severe personality disorders BEFORE you leave to the playa.

8. LEAVING NO TRACE: Clean up your shit. But don’t concern yourself with the huge carbon footprint the event leaves behind on this once pristine ancient lakebed (the damage has already been done, plus no one cares).

9. PARTICIPATION: This doesn’t mean, ‘don’t spectate’. This means the highest and best activity you can perform on the playa is in service to the infrastructure in the form of volunteerism. The harder you work and the more you sacrifice in service to the business, the more cool-points you will be awarded. These cool-points can be exchanged for tiers of enlightenment. Extra cool-points are handed out if you are injured on the job, but you still will not be paid. And don’t ask.

10. IMMEDIACY: No one knows what this means. If someone cites this principle to you, run away. This is how they get newbs to do the shit work.

DJs Coming Clean: Steve Aoki not a real DJ?

No surprises here. And Aoki is by no means the only DJ these days who “phones it in” from a USB stick or their laptop. However, his “let them eat cake” thing is very Marie Antoinette – more LA than SF or Reno.

evolution of a dj

The source, ““, might not be the most reputable on the Internet. Recently they reported on the discovery of evidence of EDM at a Stone Age archaeological dig. As always Burners, make up your own minds…

aoki diddyFans of US “DJ” Steve Aoki are in a state of shock after it emerged that Mr. Aoki is in fact a performance artist who has been engaged in a finely orchestrated and prolonged performance art piece that has encapsulated every aspect of his life.

The news emerged after it was revealed that Mr. Aoki has been awarded with a Special Achievement Award from the American Council of Performing Arts (A.C.P.A.) for the project which has taken up almost the entirety of Mr. Aoki’s adult life.

Speaking for the first time about the revelations, Mr. Aoki, pictured receiving his award from professional egoist, Kanye West, sought to explain the motivation behind the project.

“I wanted to explore the fickle nature of popular music fads by devising a public and onstage persona that could push the bounds of ridiculous behaviour to an extreme and still manage to get away with it.”

“For me it’s about trying to be as absurd and laughable as possible without any of the audience being aware of, or being willfully ignorant of, the sheer absurdity of what they’re witnessing. The EDM explosion for me was the perfect vehicle to explore that idea because it seemed like that audience were capable of mindlessly accepting the most crass gimmicks and personalities,” explained Aoki.

“The show and my life as “DJ” Steve Aoki has evolved over the years, ” he explained. “I’ve had to live every waking moment as this guy without ever breaking character. That’s always been the toughest part, seeing myself become this clown and never being able to say ‘Hey guys, it’s not real’.”

“I kept adding more and more unnecessary vulgarity to the show, bright flashing lights, topless performances, silly hair, Indian headdresses, trampolines. I kept thinking that at any moment people would realise that this was no longer dance music but that it was an absurdist pantomine and the game would be up. But no-one has ever even suspected.”

“Even when I started throwing cake into the audience, which I intended as a not-so-subtle reference to the circus that my show had become, the audience just lapped it up. No-one thought to themselves ‘Oh look, he’s started throwing cakes into people’s faces like a fucking clown, surely this can’t be legitimate dance music?’.

Spokesman for the A.C.P.A., Arnold Trumball, described his admiration for Aoki’s project, “It’s a tour-de-force in method acting. He’s been living as this consciously asinine DJ for the last 15 years without ever breaking character. Can you imagine living every waking moment as the DJ character Steve Aoki? Churning out shit track after shit track. Attending shit gig after shit gig?” questioned Trumball. “Not being able to hold your hands up to even your closest friends and admit ‘my career as a DJ is an absurd joke’. That’s real dedication to your art.”

For real Burning Man dance music, see our links to 161+ sets here.

[Update]: for Burners that can’t figure out their funny bone from their asshole, USA Today breaks it down with an in-depth scoop.
And DJ A-O-K himself hits back at the haters with a radically inclusive response :

LOL!! Did you got fooled by this fake “story” on

My crew and I had a good laugh about it when it was first posted (more at how bad the joke was than it actually being funny), but unfortunately some of my fans thought it was real.

I want to make sure my fans understand that this piece is in fact a parody. And I’m stressing the word parody here: any humorous, satirical, or burlesque imitation, as of a person, event. said it best in their response to the cease & desist letter from David Guetta’s laywers: “Wunderground is a satirical dance music website that never deals in actual factual statements or events, but instead pokes fun at the dance music community through the medium of comedy.”

So to set the record straight for my fans.

· I never said any of this and these quotes are completely untrue. Dance music is my love, is my passion, is my life. I live for my fans and I take my art very seriously.
· I’d hate for any up-and-coming artists to see this post, take it to heart and believe it has any shred of truth or legitimacy. Dance music is a serious art form and we’ve been working very hard as an international community to push our voice and message to the masses.
· This story does the opposite and in no way should my fans believe it to be true at all. I love you all very much and you’re the reason why I do this for a living. You’re the reason why I push myself to become a better artist and performer and continue to take my show to a higher level.

So Wunderground, nice try, but you’re no Onion. Take a note from the masters and step up your game: