Essential Guide for Virgins

The Temple Burn crowd is silent, respectful; when the Man burns, the crowd cheers and goes wild

This video contains a lot of very useful information for Virgins.  Stuff like “sit down” when the Man and the Temple burn. If everyone sits down, everyone can see. The few people who think “no, I prefer to stand” ruin it for everyone else – if you really want to stand, stand at the back of the people sitting down – otherwise you’re an asshole. It’s not right that 500 people behind you can’t see, because you want to stand up close to the front to video the moment on your iPhone. It’s going to be on YouTube, filmed and edited by people far more talented at that than you. So sit down or get out of the fucking way!

Also, leave your bikes well away from the crowd – don’t have them next to you in the middle of a crowd of 60,000 people, blocking everyone’s view. A good tip from my own experience is to leave your blinkies going on your bike wherever you park it. It is very easy to forget where you left it, and think that it was stolen. And that big blue light in the sky that you find your camp by? Make sure it’s attached to something fixed and not an art car.

Watch this and you’re on the fast track to being an experienced Burner. People on the Playa will be impressed with your preparedness and forethought.

Not sure about the 80’s music (even remixed)…most Virgins probably weren’t born when these tracks came out.

6 comments on “Essential Guide for Virgins

  1. Coming from NYC this year and was stressed out because of the food situation. Usually I cook meals in advance, but there is no way to transport those. Was happy my friend turned me on to this: – prepared, quality, cost effective food for burners! They freeze gourmet meals into a bag and then you just boil that bag to reheat. No MOOP, no cleanup – all you need is one pot and water (which you can re-use cuz it doesn’t touch the food). Not only that: they deliver to the playa.

  2. Pingback: Training Video for Virgins | Burners.Me Burning Man commentary blog

  3. Don’t watch this video if you didn’t get a ticket this year, or if you are easily angered. A 2012 Burning Man ticket is totally destroyed!

    I don’t know what kind of sick mind would do this and keep a ticket from an artist or a DJ or anyone.

  4. Dude I’m a 35 year old VIRGIN burner and I LOVED that movie!! Kick ass music, hilariousness with the sarcasm and all around suggestions! Some of them were really good…not that I remember them right now, Im gonna have to watch it one more time and take notes, but I’m into it!
    Thanks to the camp that made the movie and you guys for the repost.

  5. So, according to this video, I should bring a kiddy pool, sandals (for playa foot), and prepare to throw away socks (after I run behind the poo water truck), glow sticks (since battery powered lights are hard to find) and single-use water bottles, since nobody has heard of reusable ones and big containers. I should hand out gum and burn incense in the portapotties. Ok, got it! These instructions will make me look at home and popular, I’m sure.

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