Simple Map for Burners

christopher playa map

cartoon by Christopher









bonus: a San Francisco blog called “Bernalwood” just created a guide along these lines to the micro-precincts of Bernal Heights. Burning Man old timer Chicken John got his own Principality:


From Bernalwood:

…the idea that Bernal Heights consists of several distinct microhoods actually makes a lot of sense. After all, Bernal is a neighborhood defined by its topography — Remember, our last name is “Heights!” — so there’s an intuitive logic to the notion that different parts of the hill have very different subcultures and identities. Yet we are far more than our cost per-square-foot; we are a federation of nooks and crannies shaped by timeless geological features, historical quirks, and neighborly idiosyncrasies.

So please allow us to propose this homegrown draft guide to the Subdistricts of Bernal Heights, produced in collaboration with Burrito Justice, chief spokesblogger for the La Lenguan separatists. To wit, and roughly clockwise from the map shown above:

Precitaville – With the Mission as a front yard, Precita Park as the living room, and Bernal Hill as a backyard playground, Precitaville is perhaps the most cosmopolitan part of Bernal Heights. Perhaps.

Santana Rancho – Carlos Santana used to live here; Janis Joplin used to party here. The steep slopes and meandering streets of Bernal’s northeast corner have made it a secret haven for generations of local artists, musicians, and eccentrics.

The Sutrito Canine Republic – Located atop Bernal Hill in a public park, The Sutrito Canine Republic is patrolled by packs of very happy dogs who frolic off-leash and worship the microwave antenna array mounted atop Sutrito Tower.

The Hill People of Powhattan – With their homes clustered around Powhattan Avenue in the high-altitude reaches of Bernal Hill’s southeastern quarter, the Hill People of Powhattan are easy to recognize: Just look for their massive, hill-toned calves and slightly elevated demeanor.

Alemanistan – Dry, rocky, and sun-baked, Alemanistan retains a wild, untamed feel. Perched in the shadow of the Spaghetti Bowl, at the crossroads of two major highways, this  is Bernal’s frontier borderland.

Cortlandia – The heart of Bernal’s historic commercial district has now become the ideal setting for a contemporary situation comedy about bourgoise-bohemian urban culture in the early years of the 21st century. Which is funny, except that it’s also rather lovely, and we are very lucky to have it. The residents of Cortlandia are justifiably quite proud of this.

Baja Bernal – Perhched just south and slightly below Cortland Avenue, Baja Bernal is scrappy place of haphazard hills, multigenerational residents, and intense, superhyperlocal pride.

Portola Norte – As if unfazed by the barrier created by an interstate freeway, this area of Bernal Heights  feels contiguous with the pre-gentrified ethos that prevails on the other side of I-280.

St. Mary’s Park – Developed during the 1920s on the site of the former St Mary’s College campus, this self-contained, bell-shaped enclave feels like a little slice of the Sunset District, right in our own corner of Bernal Heights.

Lost Tribe of College Hill – Separated from the Bernal heartland by Mission Street, yet isolated from Glen Park by freeways, College Hill’s de facto independence is symbolized by a recent redistricting that saw the area transferred to Supervisor Scott Wiener’s District 8.

Holly Park – This ancient district of Bernal Heights is home to one of San Francisco’s oldest parks and a covered reservoir that has long been the setting for much local scandal and drama.

Foggy Vista – Rising above Mission Street on Bernal’s west slope, the groovy people who live here enjoy a commanding view of Nature’s own lava lamp: the massive banks of fog that cascade over Twin Peaks. Residents eagerly await construction of the Esmeralda Funicular to facilitate transit to and from the bustling Mission Street corridor.

La Lengua Autonomous Zone – This territory has been an integral part of the Dominion of Bernalwood since the 19th century, but today the uppity people of La Lengua enjoy limited autonomy under the terms of the 2010 Proclamation to the Vassals of La Lengua.

The Principality of Chicken John – Though located within the territorial boundaries of Bernal Heights, Chicken John’s warehouse residential complex and bus depot on Cesar Chavez functions as a world unto itself. Operating under its own sovereign codes, aesthetics, and social norms, and with it’s own 4.5 star rating on Yelp, The Principality of Chicken John is, in effect, Bernal’s version of the Vatican.

Serpentinia – Named after a long-gone street that used to mirror Precita on the northern side of Army/Cesar Chavez,  Serpentinia is today defined by the major thoroughfare that now slices through its center. After decades of indifference and neglect, recent  infrastructure upgrades on Chavez may bring new cultural vitality to this region.

REVISION NOTE: March 19: Based on comments provided by Bernal neighbors, the former “Outer Cortlandia” has been renamed “Baja Bernal,” to reflect existing microhood parlance. The map has also been updated to include this change.

New at Burners.Me: Cartoons!


Just like Burning Man, we’re taking it to another level on the Web this year. We’re pleased to welcome Christopher as our resident cartoonist, helping spread joy to the world of Burners We asked him some quick questions:

B.M: How many burns have you been to?

10 burns.

B.M What are your 3 favorite Principles?

Gifting, Self Reliance and Communal Effort.

B.M What are the best and worst parts of Burning Man?

The best part of Burning Man is living in a world dedicated to art and self expression. The worst part is the dust. Fuck dat.

We look forward to many chuckles in the future, thanks for sharing Christopher!


“Cirque du Feu”: Redding Fire Festival This Weekend

Burners are scattered all over the country, and all over the world. From the 2012 Census:

burner distribution 2012

Up north in Redding, veteran Burner and Dancetrohottie Adrionah has become the unofficial go-to person for Burners in the region. She is putting on a “Circus of Fire” this Saturday March 22: a festival featuring fire dancing, acrobats, aerialists, contortionists, bluegrass music, break dancing and belly dancers, and local food and crafts. She says:

adrionah dancetronautsI like that people refer to me so often for Burning Man related stuff in the area. And the festival is really pulling Burners out of the woodwork. Which is perfect! That is exactly what I wanted to do. It seems to be moths to the light:) The more Burners I gather, the more we can collaborate and integrate participatory and counter-culture art. Plus, it is giving me the opportunity to promote the traditional Burner values that were instilled in me a decade ago. Things like giving unconditionally, to think is to create, etc. Hopefully, we will someday be able to have a pre-compression here. I actually have some of BMORG come out for it:)

The festival goes all day and is kid-friendly, come to Redding for a sunny Saturday and help support the spread of Burner culture. Tickets are only $5.


cirque du feu 2014

Redding Fire Festival, Vendors on the Go are proud to present “Cirque du Feu!”

Fill your soul with the harmonic melodies of BLUEGRASS music. Gaze upon awe inspiring ART DISPLAYS. Arouse your senses with both savory and delectable treats from numerous LOCAL FOOD TRUCKS. Peruse the various VENDOR BOOTHS and give a home to the commodity of your choice. Take your chance at being a winner in our fundraising RAFFLE. Participate in the fiery fun with GLOW STICKS and a festive FACE PAINTING. Join the adventure with a HOOP or POI LESSON. Witness the astounding feats of our impressive ACROBATS! Let your mind be twisted while our CONTORTIONIST twists her body in sleek AERIAL SILKS! Fill your heart with the beauty of BELLY DANCING sirens. Let our BREAK DANCERS bend your mind! Then experience the fervor and intensity of flames caressing the night air and allow yourself to be entranced by the performances of our featured FIRE DANCERS!

Seating is not provided. Please bring your own chair.
If it rains, this event will be rescheduled.

This is a FAMILY FRIENDLY event!

Adults- $5 Presale
$7 Door
Children- FREE

Location: Lawn @ North Valley Art League’s Cater House Art Gallery, Caldwell Park, 48 Quartz Hill Road, Redding, California

Please LIKE our fan pages!

Performer Pages:

Schedule of Events:
11:00 am-Gates Open
2:00 pm-Drum Circle & Music Jam
3:30 pm-Intermediate/Advanced-Arm Hooping-Meg Amor (See pricing below)
4:00 pm-Band Performance-“Cold Sweat”
4:00 pm-Beginner Poi Lesson-Dallas McKenzie (See pricing below)
4:00 pm-Beginner Staff-Jack Ober (See pricing below)
4:30 pm-Beginner Hoop Lesson-Raquel Monterrey (See pricing below)
4:30 pm-Intermediate/Advanced Poi-Jack Ober (See pricing below)
5:00 pm-Band Performance-“Them Wreckin’ Boys”
6:00 pm-Cirque Performances-Acrobats, Contortion, Aerial Silks, Belly Dancers, Break Dancers
6:30 pm- Fire Safety Demonstration with Pyrate Technics
7:15 pm-Raffle (must be present to win)
7:30 pm-Fire Dancing Performances
8:30 pm-Freestyle Fire Performances

Event Workshops:
Hoop/Arm Hoop Class (Mature Children-Adults)- Beginner Level, Intermediate/Advanced Levels
$10- w/Hoop Rental
$5- Bring Your Own Hoop
(Hoops available at the Mullet’s Metallurgy Merchandise Booth)

Poi Class (Mature Children-Adults)- Beginner Level, Intermediate/Advanced Levels
$10- w/Poi Rental
$5- Bring Your Own Poi
(Poi available at the Mullet’s Metallurgy Merchandise Booth)

Staff Class (Mature Children-Adults)- Beginner Level
$10- w/Staff Rental
$5- Bring Your Own Staff
(Staffs available at the Mullet’s Metallurgy Merchandise Booth)

Available Products:
Hoops- $35-$65
Practice Poi- $10-$40
Staffs- $65+
Fire Products are available as well!