I am offering $1000 via PayPal to
anyone the first person that can give me a copy of the 1996 Burning Man Helco Contract, called “Standard Short Form Contract for Purchase of Soul”. The contract is discussed and shown in this presentation around 1:57:00:
There are some interesting Helco photos in this FlickRiver set
I can’t quite make out clause 1 but the sections appear to be:
- NO COOLING OFF PERIOD
- TERM OF CONTRACT
- WARRANTIES BY SELLER
- OWNERSHIP AND LIEN RIGHTS
- TAXES AND FEES
- TIME OF ESSENCE
- VENUE AND JURISDICTION
- ENTIRE AGREEMENT
- ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF UNDERSTANDING
ADDITIONAL TERMS AND CONDITIONS
From the table with the skull on it (very Masonic) it seems like there is also some sort of certificate which was presented, in addition to a copy of the contract. It may well be that BMorg kept all the contracts and did not give the signers a copy. I have had more than one reader over the years tell me that they have a copy, but I have not yet been able to get an original document. I hope the reward will inspire someone to come forward with this important piece of Burner history.
Another contract for the sale of souls was handed out at Burning Man in 1998 by the Church of Mez – see Transhumanist Former Cult Leader Says Burners Responsible For Innovation.
the terrain was alien, the people were all different colors, there were huge and frightening creatures, and the name of the place – Black Rock City – doesn’t appear on any map at all.
We worked really hard on our vacation this year. So hard I’m amazed we all stayed friends through the vacation! We bought a rocket ship disguised as a bus and got it all gussied up for the trip. We got ourselves a big old tent and a giant scaffolding to make a tower with and packed ’em up. We nabbed lotsa couches and carpeting and loaded ’em on the roof rack to decorate with. And of course, we brought lots of t-shirts and contracts to buy people’s souls with.
Souls sure are cheap! We brought back 150 of ’em, each one purchased for a t-shirt, condom, and fortune cookie. Most of ’em we got pictures of in our book of souls, and all of ’em signed a contract as airtight as we could make it. Heck, if it weren’t for the dust storm, pretty naked girls, and other distractions, I’m sure we would have filled out all of the 300 contracts we took with us.
I will pay a bonus reward of $500 for this one, but I am really looking for the original 1996 Helco one. If you have either contract please contact us.
I have a copy of this contract
I hear there are some pizza parlors in need of your expertise.
You really don’t get artists, do you?
If this is art, then surely somebody kept the art. There were hundreds of these things.
Oh I’m sure there are copies floating around. I’m just pretty certain you want one as evidence of genuine Satanic activity, which is hilarious. Who’s next, Alice Cooper? Ozzy? John Lovitz?
You should probably change your offer to “the first person who sends me” otherwise you will be under obligation to everyone who sends you a copy. It would be a great Burner prank to have a thousand people send you a copy.
Sent from my Verizon, Samsung Galaxy smartphone
Thanks Larry. No attachment.
As Larry himself describes: “Customers were offered contracts closely typed in nine-point font on legal-size sheets of paper. The font grew ever smaller as the text progressed. Entitled “Standard Short Form Contract For Purchase of Soul”, this legal handiwork appeared to cover every possible contingency. It was authored by an old friend of mine, Doug Holloway, an attorney. As a reward for parting with their souls, ‘sellers’ were allowed to ascend the steep stairs of a dark and sinister multi-tiered throne that projected a full three stories overhead. On a stage beneath its summit sat Satan, played by Flash. As part of our satiric scheme, Satan was understood to have lost his position in the midst of corporate reshuffling. No longer CEO of an underworld empire, he now served as a corporate spokesperson. He had become to Hell what Colonel Sanders is to chicken. Cheerfully bearing up in this role, Flash allowed each customer to sit on his lap. He invited them to whisper their most secret wishes and desires in his ear.”
Thanks Nomad. The reward for parting with their souls was actually one red sucker. It is important for consideration to be exchanged for a contract to be real, the value is immaterial.
I note that when you buy Burning Man tickets still to this day, you get a red sucker candy “fireball” sent out with them.