Shaft, Unicorns, and Morning Gloryville

Shaft the Unicorn. Image: Vice

Shaft the Unicorn. Image: Vice

We keep hearing from BMOrg’s spokespeople how the dusty desert rave is making the world a better place and transforming lives around the planet. It’s good to see some evidence of this happening. First we had Jared Leto bringing Burning Man to SOHO:

Image: New York Magazine

Image: New York Magazine

Now VICE brings us a documentary about Shaft, who was inspired by going to Burning Man events to self-identify as a unicorn.

When a charismatic former alcoholic named Shaft had his life changed by Burning Man, he realized that he actually identifies as a unicorn. No longer able to face the monotony of work and life in the real world, he decided to form a polyamorous and hedonistic movement with other like-minded unicorns.

Donning glittery horns and galloping through London’s streets, Shaft’s unicorns set about trying to create a free-love utopia.

But as the unicorn revolution begins to clash with the realities of life and love, some of the “glampede” became disillusioned, and Shaft’s reasons for starting this whole thing came into question.

Is this the hedonistic, free love revolution we were promised in the 60s? Or is it as fake as the unicorn horns they wear, a desperate and clever ploy by Shaft to escape his own inner loneliness by starting a cult?

It’s one of the funniest things I’ve seen in a while.

The girl’s art around 7:30 is priceless.

Shaft says “it’s the Burning world that I got all my ideas in life from”. He means his ideas about polyamory, partying, and magical transpecies identification. He also says “I’m a massive drug addict”, with Ketamine bed parties being his particular preferred indulgence.

So here’s one way to measure the impact of Burner culture on the world. Count unicorn horns, wherever you go.

Meanwhile, Laser Unicorns brings us this surprise hit:

8 comments on “Shaft, Unicorns, and Morning Gloryville

  1. Right, this is the direct influence of Burning Man, because if this highly unstable person hadn’t even gone to Burning Man, he’d be a stockbroker. Uh huh.

    • A frakking “stockbroker?” Isn’t that a little punitive? Of course you could have pulled out all the stops and said he would have been a scum hedge-fund trader.

      Then again, either way, that means he would have ended up at the NV burn anyway. )$(

  2. Hopefully satire, otherwise, scary. Anyway, copious amounts of drugs like ketamine are more likely the cause of altered senses of self than burning man. That reliance on ketamine will also soon burn out his bladder, for real. Then he can worry about things other than being a unicorn.

    • I know Shaft from a lot of the euroburns, hes an offputtingly narcissistic character who seems to have no sort of a personality apart from the whole unicorn wankery. There’s some alright people among the “unicorn” crowd but mainly they just bring on eyerolling with their desperate attention seeking. Hes a druggie with a massively inflated ego basically, his “secret to success” talk at a burn was basically “me me me me me, i do a lot of drugs and i have threesomes now and oh unicorns i guess.Please pay attention to me”

      Sorry for making a post like this but i can’t stand this mans insanely inflated ego and lack of self awareness, hes just spiraling into some sort of inevitable psychiatric episode

Leave a Reply