The Poor Man’s Burning Man: Part One

by Whatsblem the Pro

People have some pretty crazy ideas regarding what Burning Man is all about. Even hardcore burners have a difficult time agreeing just what it is we’re all doing out there, unless they are wise enough to define it as something very open-ended that is many different things to many people.

One of the more common misapprehensions that so many people have about Burning Man is that it’s a hippie peace ‘n’ love (and sex and drugs) festival. While it’s true that every variety of hippie – from crafty, hard-working old ’60s-vintage radicals with tons of skills, to ragged young drainbows in tie-dyed Grateful Dead Army uniforms begging “the universe” for tickets and water – can be found in Black Rock City, that’s because it is a city, with many diverse streams of culture. Among the teeming masses of Nevada’s third-largest urban center, there’s plenty of room for quite a large number of every species of hippie without it being all about them. “Burners are hippies” as a meme is just plain mistaken.

Burners are people who tend to have certain things in common, but the commonalities are striped across a staggeringly broad spectrum of other cultures. . . so broad, that I would go so far as to say that burner culture is probably the most eclectic human culture yet devised, taking the worthiest bits and pieces from many sources and melding them into a tasty gumbo of mutual understanding and acceptance. Sometimes respect goes hand-in-hand with that acceptance, and sometimes it doesn’t, and that’s fine; we’re not a fundamentally hippie-based culture, and it’s fairly well-understood that we don’t have to love or even like each other to make room for each other and do what we do. The oft-heard playa sentiment “fuck yer day” does not generally mean “GTFO.”

Good. Very, very good. -- Image:

Good. Very, very good. — Image:

Bad. Very, very, very, very, bad. -- Photo: Shutterstock

Bad. Very, very, very, very, bad. — Photo: Shutterstock

Another very popular myth is that you have to be rich to go to Burning Man; there’s a persistent tall tale among non-burners to the effect that Black Rock City is populated entirely by elitist multimillionaires, which seems rather at odds with the notion that we’re all hippie beggars who eat out of dumpsters and hit up working people for spare change so we can buy weed.

I know a lot of financially challenged people who go to Burning Man. Not a few of them live well below the poverty line all year ’round, often because they are artists and because they donate a lot of their time and effort. I know a lot of non-artists who go to Burning Man and are financially challenged, too. . . and I don’t mean that their stock portfolio took a bruising when the housing bubble burst; I mean they have trouble paying the rent on time and feeding themselves decently, and sometimes have to spend weeks or months living in their vehicles.

There is, of course, an eternal and vital intersection that brings the rich into contact with the creative poor, transforms entire swathes of decayed cityscape in flurries of urban renewal, and foments patronage of the arts. . . and if Burning Man is representative of that intersection, it is the crossroads of an Art superhighway with Big Money Boulevard. The usual result of that kind of interaction is that some crumbling, dangerous neighborhood with cheap real estate fills up with artists looking to live cheaply, and the money follows them and eventually injects some hoidy-toidy into the area, driving the average rent up and driving the struggling artists out, to seek shoestring budget living elsewhere and start the process over again.

Burning Man is different. There’s no real estate market to sway, just ticket prices. . . so there’s no way for the money to gentrify us and drive out the funky low-budget players in favor of “white cube” art gallery snobs.

It does take a significant investment to render yourself playa-ready, obtain a ticket, and transport your ass and your gear to the Black Rock desert. . . and the cost can get much steeper if you happen to live someplace on the other side of an ocean. Your investment, however – and it is an investment, not just money blown on an expensive vacation – doesn’t necessarily have to involve much in the way of actual cash.

How, though, do the burning poor manage it, exactly? How can you do it too?

In a nutshell, the answer is simple: Find some burners who have more going on than you do, and make yourself useful. If you can manage to identify and fill a necessary function for an art project or theme camp or other conclave of burners, then you’re GOING, and that’s all there is to it. Take up the slack for your crew, make yourself invaluable, and your crew will take up the slack for you. This could mean a month or two of unpaid labor on some massive art gewgaw; it could mean signing up for some crucial role in an established theme camp, like cook, or art car driver; it could mean joining DPW and earning your patches (although you won’t typically get a free ticket your first year). For some, it might mean being pretty and sucking cock on demand in some venture capitalist’s swanky RV; if that’s an acceptable billet in your view of the world, more power to you; nobody can tell you you’re wrong but you, and I would like to respectfully request your phone number, please.


This article is the first in what will be a regular series that will show you one avenue to getting to Black Rock City in a very practical and detailed way: I am embedding myself with the International Arts Megacrew to work on their 2013 project, known as “The Control Tower.” Initially, I’ll be making swag and soliciting donations of essential equipment and materials for the project, and my role will change and expand as the project progresses and evolves.

I’ve already written about the Control Tower project, but I’ll begin by giving you some background.

The International Arts Megacrew is the group that built architect Ken Rose’s Temple of Transition in 2011. Their 2013 project, the Control Tower, will be built at the Generator, a brand-new community industrial arts space in Sparks, just outside Reno, Nevada. The Generator is managed by the Pier Crew’s Matt Schultz, and generously funded by an anonymous donor who has underwritten quite a bit of playa art over the years.

I wasn’t a member of the IAM’s Temple crew in 2011, but I did show up for the last few weeks of their build, and assisted the welders, mostly by grinding metal for hours on end in oven-like heat at the Hobson’s Corner site in Reno. I first became acquainted with the Pier Crew people while working on Burn Wall Street (sorry about that), as the two projects shared space at the Salvagery. When I saw how incredibly cool the Pier’s project was, I donated some old fencing swords I had for the skeletal crew of the ship they built, and served as humble shop bitch providing elbow grease and other assistance to the gentleman who designed and built the ship’s anchor.

The Pier Crew amazed us all in 2012 -- Photo: Jason Silverio

The Pier Crew amazed us all in 2012 — Photo: Jason Silverio

When I first visited the Generator, it was to interview Jerry Snyder about his Ichthyosaur Puppet project. Matt Schultz was there as well, and we got reacquainted with each other and spent some time touring the space as Matt gave me the lowdown on his vision.

“The Generator,” he told me, “is not just a place for Burning Man projects. This will be a space for the entire community, where anyone who is willing to pitch in and contribute a bit is welcome – without paying any fees whatsoever – to come and make art, learn new skills, and teach new skills to others. We’re going to have some serious tools here for people to use. They’ll have to bring their own materials, unless someone here who doesn’t mind sharing happens to have what they need.

“It’s an arts incubator,” he sums up. “A hive of creative people who share their talents, resources and ideas to make amazing new art.”

Schultz points to the freshly-painted walls of the gigantic open space, which is still brand-new and mostly devoid of any hint of tools or activity. “We put out the word, and a whole crew of volunteers came in here and did all that painting. That’s what I’m talking about when I say we need people to be willing to contribute. It’s a tribal thing; if you behave like a member of the tribe and don’t mind spending a little bit of your time doing things that help everyone, then there should be no problem with you being here and getting all kinds of benefits from the space and the resources in it.”

As we talk, I reflect on the welcoming nature of our community. It’s true that I’ve got a little bit of an inside track, but there’s no favoritism in play here; had I shown up cold, knowing nobody at the Generator and having no history with them, we would be having the same conversation, and I’d be given the same opportunity to participate.

“Is there anything I can do to help out today?” I ask.

Schultz shows me to a room where painting supplies are stored, and gives me instructions for painting the spacious bathroom, a job which someone has begun but not yet finished. He leaves the building as I get to work with the roller. . . to an extent, the trust here is given freely, to be rescinded if necessary, rather than earned. I spend the rest of the afternoon painting happily.

It's a lot less empty this week -- Photo: Whatsblem the Pro

It’s a lot less empty this week — Photo: Whatsblem the Pro

The next day I show up early for a meeting with the IAM’s leader, James Diarmaid Horken, aka ‘Irish.’ The space reserved for the Control Tower build, empty the day before, has erupted into a fully-equipped meeting and planning zone overnight, with pallets screwed together to support a large L-shaped expanse of whiteboard, a big desk at which Irish sits working, a model of the Control Tower in bamboo and wire, and a complete living room set, with artificial houseplants and decorative sculpture making the semicircle of couches and coffee tables seem warm and homey in the cold sterility of the giant warehouse.

As I’m waiting for the rest of the group to assemble and come to order, I stroll around surveying the other changes that have taken place while I was sleeping. There are more tools, more tables, more spaces marked off on the floors in chalk. Someone is setting up welding equipment and a really expensive professional-grade drill press in a large side room. The Generator is still mostly just a big empty industrial space, but signs of life are unmistakable, and it is booming and blooming with a palpable vitality.

Old friends and new ones drift in, gathering to find out what the Control Tower project is all about. I chat with Ken Rose, the IAM’s architect, about the computational architecture behind the construction techniques that will give the structure great strength using a minimum of materials. “Russian mathematicians came up with this stuff about a hundred years ago,” he tells me. “Open-lattice hyperboloids like the one we’re going to build offer very good structural strength using only about 25% of the materials we’d need to build a rectangular frame structure.”

Soon the meeting is underway, and Irish is giving us a run-down of the road ahead. He has made lists of equipment, supplies, and materials we’re going to need, and written it all on the whiteboards behind him, with other lists and notes that give us an idea of what skill sets are going to be required. The prospective crew members listen intently, their eyes focused on the whiteboards, or the scale model, or on Irish and Ken as they explain their vision and the rough timetable they’ve devised. They tell us about the vast array of programmable LEDs, and the flamethrowers, and the lasers. They talk about everything from the meaning behind the ideas, to hard logistical challenges that we’ll be facing.

When the meeting is over, we unwind a bit, eating watermelon and bouncing ideas and Nerf darts off each other’s heads. Other people on other projects are knocking off for the day as well. A small but spirited war erupts in one of the still-open areas; Nerf guns are more abundant here than is probably typical of industrial work spaces. As I’m minding my own business and looking over a coffee table book of art by Leonardo da Vinci, a Nerf dart strikes me directly in the forehead and sticks there.

The next few days are a flurry of activity. My mornings are spent doing research and making phone calls, trying to drum up support in the form of donations from local business people. In the afternoons I get my personal working space at the Generator set up, so I can work on carving and tooling leather to make swag for people who donate to our project. More artists and more tools are showing up, almost hourly. The first ribs of the ichthyosaur skeleton that Jerry Snyder is building hang on a huge rack. Someone seems to be constructing a dance floor in one corner; judging by the work, whoever it is must be a master carpenter.

Irish calls me on the phone one morning soon after the Control Tower meeting. “Will you be here this evening around ten o’clock?” he asks me. “We’re having a laser test.”

“Lasers?” I say, ears perking up. “Of course I’ll be there.”

When I arrive, two people are unloading some serious laser gear from the back of a truck inside the Generator. The fellow in charge of the lasers is Skippy, an Opulent Temple member who provides OT and other organizations and events with laser light shows, using an array of equipment mostly salvaged, rebuilt, and repurposed from discarded medical equipment. When he’s ready and his smoke generator is puffing away, we turn the lights out, and he activates his multicolored little wonders of science in a dazzling automated sequence that lasts over an hour.

We’re all friends, or at least not enemies. We’re working hard, and we’re having a blast doing it. We’re not just building art, we’re building a new world. One day, if humanity doesn’t destroy itself somehow and civilization manages to endure, the day will come when automation makes us all redundant as workers; when that day comes, everyone will be like us: doing only the types of work that they find worth doing. Soon come, soon come.

You can read Part Two of The Poor Man’s Burning Man at:

Sex ‘n’ Drugs ‘n’ Bikes That Roll

by Whatsblem the Pro

Having a bicycle on the playa is considered essential by just about everyone who isn’t riding a Segway or driving a golf cart or an art car. Bringing your bike from home might not be wise or practical, however, for a number of reasons:

  • Your bike may not survive the playa. This could be a real issue for those who bring the bicycle they use for daily transportation the rest of the year, or for those weekend warriors with seriously expensive high-tech rigs.
  • Your bike may not be appropriate for the playa. Balloon tires are vastly preferable, as is serious decoration; not only does uniquely decorating your bike make it a more welcome sight to the rest of us, it also makes your bike a less-attractive target for thieves. Speaking of which. . .
  • Your bike may be stolen. Lock it up if you want to keep it, and at the very least, write your name and camp address prominently on the frame, in case of joyriders who really don’t mean to steal your bike, but who may have a lapse in judgment re: borrowing it while intoxicated.
  • You may be coming from overseas. Bringing a bicycle with you on an international flight? Bad idea, for so many reasons. You need to pick up something locally!
Yellow Bikes are green! Photo by Danger Ranger

Yellow Bikes are green! Photo by Danger Ranger

No matter what the reason, you do have options if you just don’t want to bring your bike with you to Burning Man (or if you don’t have a bike). The surest and most obvious is the Yellow Bike program. Yellow Bikes (which are green) can be found all over Black Rock City, free for the taking to anyone who needs one. . . but remember, there are only approximately a thousand of them, and if your butt’s not on the seat, it’s fair game for anyone else to take. Do not lock up Yellow Bikes, or stash them, or otherwise take them out of circulation unless you have an immediate need. If the Yellow Bike you’re riding breaks, please do your best to fix it yourself; the same goes for your own bike if you bring it. There are camps that do nothing but bicycle repair, but don’t count on them, and try to be self-reliant if at all possible. Carry basic tools and a patch repair kit with you, even if you’re using the Yellow Bikes. Bring some chain lube, too, as the playa has a way of insta-rusting things. . . but in the interests of leaving no trace, use lube that doesn’t get flung off the chain when freshly lubed, and be sure to catch any drips or overspray so your lube doesn’t end up on the playa where it will have to be cleaned up (yes, that kind of thing really does have to be cleaned up, and so do puddles of crystallized urine, so don’t piss on the playa either). Make sure the bike you’re on is appropriately lit-up at night, so you don’t end up creaming some other darktard out on the deep playa, or being run over by an art car whose driver can’t see your inadvisably lightless ass.

Serving the Children of the World

Serving the Children of the World

If you’d prefer to avoid the vagaries and vicissitudes of riding Yellow Bikes (which may suddenly disappear under another rider anytime you’re not on them), there are several choices in Reno for acquiring a playa bike. The econo route is to reserve a bike with the Kiwanis Bike Program, which provides no-frills machines specifically tailored for on-playa use. You should do this as early as possible; last year they were completely out of bikes by mid-June. You can also hope to score big for small coin on a first-come, first-served basis at the Reno Bike Project, which runs a similar program. You can reserve a Kiwanis bike anytime, and pick it up between August 23rd and August 28th, 2013 between the hours of 9:00 AM and 9:00 PM, or at other times by appointment. If you show up in Reno having forgotten to make a reservation, you may still be able to buy one from a limited pool of machines they reserve for just such situations. To reserve a Kiwanis bike, you’ll need to give Kiwanis a PayPal deposit of $40 per bike. Some of their bikes cost a little more than others, but the maximum price is $50; when you show up to get your bike, you’ll choose from over 400 available, and pay the extra $10 (if applicable) then. All proceeds from Kiwanis Bike Program bike sales go to support the Kiwanis Bike and Pedestrian Safety Programs and other service projects. To make a reservation or for more information, e-mail, or give them a call at (775) 337-1717 or (775) 846-7146.

Photo by Reno Bike Project

Photo by Reno Bike Project

If the Kiwanis Bike Program doesn’t have what you need, try the Reno Bike Project. They no longer do reservations, but they do have a large fleet of over 500 playa-ready bikes you can buy for prices similar to Kiwanis at $55 and up. The mechanics at Reno Bike Project are probably a little more skilled than the folks at Kiwanis, and the environment is a bit hipper, but otherwise the two programs are very similar. Like Kiwanis, RBP will accept your bike back as a donation after you leave the playa and want to head home unburdened. Reno Bike Project: (775) 323-4488, or e-mail

If Kiwanis and the Reno Bike Project are both out of bikes, or if you’re looking for something a little more high-end, then Black Rock Bicycles might be the place for you. Their prices – even for rentals – are quite a bit higher than what it would cost you to buy a bike outright from the other two places, but they do offer a better quality of machine in your choice of colors, plus a dizzying array of both utilitarian and decorative accessories with playa riding in mind. Again, you’ll need to make your reservation early, as they typically run out of bikes weeks before Gate opens. If you’re too late or too much of a fancy lad to jam econo, the nice thing about Black Rock Bicycles is that they’ve got fairly cheap playa bikes for rent or sale, but also stock a wide range of gourmet brands and accessories that run into some serious money. You won’t get off as cheap at Black Rock Bicycles as you will at the Kiwanis or the Reno Bike Project (the rentals are $95, versus $50-$55 to buy a bike outright from Kiwanis or RBP), but you’ll get absolutely everything you need at the level of quality and affordability that suits you.

Playa-Ready Fleet for Sale! Photo: Black Rock Bicycles

Playa-Ready Fleet for Sale! Photo: Black Rock Bicycles

If you’ve already got a bike (or if you just snagged one from Kiwanis or the RBP), Black Rock Bicycles can fancy you up with lights, baskets, and all kinds of playa-savvy decorations and accessories. If you’re not terribly handy, BRB has seasonal volunteers who will install accessories for you in exchange for tips! To reserve a bike for purchase or rental from Black Rock Bicycles, or if you have questions, e-mail or call the shop at (775) 972-3336. If you’re broke and relying on your burner work ethic to see you through, both the Kiwanis Bike Program and Black Rock Bicycles have deals for people who volunteer their time. Put in a few shifts at either shop fixing up playa bikes for other burners to rent, and you’ll pedal away on a cycle of your choice, freshly fixed-up by you with your newly-acquired and/or freshly-honed bike-fixing skills. Again, the earlier you do this, the better.

Let’s not forget that “leave no trace” applies to unwanted bicycles as much as it does to standard litter. If the bike you bring to the playa is going to become a millstone around your neck once you leave, there are a number of places that will take it off your hands for charity; the Kiwanis Bike Program and the Reno Bike Project are two of them. Whether you bought the bike from them or not, you can donate it to them when you’re ready to leave. If you just can’t make it back to Reno with your bike, you’ll see several hand-painted signs on the highway during Exodus, directing you to spots where you can donate your bike to local (usually native-operated) charities. . . just please don’t leave your bike on the playa to be someone else’s problem! Thousands of bicycles are abandoned each year in Black Rock City, and it’s a bit of a headache for the Resto crew, so pack it out with you even if you no longer want or need it.

It would be nice if everyone’s bicycles were as unique and interesting as these, but that might not be practical for you. Hopefully your creative energies are being put to good use on some other aspect of your burn. It would be nice if everyone’s playa bike could be as cool as some. . . but no matter what you ride, ride tough!

Photo: Torsten Hasselmann

Photo: Torsten Hasselmann

Photo: Commodore Minxie

Photo: Commodore Minxie